


Apocalypse 3.0

by Scout558



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: (will update tags as I go along), Adam - Freeform, Aziraphale Is Soft, Ben!, Blood, Everyone Needs A Hug, Five needs a hug, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Injury, Kidnapping, Klaus loves his brother, M/M, Mutual Pining, Protective Crowley, Protective Siblings, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Sibling Love, They try to be good dads, Torture, Trauma, Whump, implied PTSD, ineffable husbands, the friendly Antichrist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:08:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25138213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scout558/pseuds/Scout558
Summary: Three years after the not-apocalypse, Crowley and Aziraphale have settled down into a new and new and wonderful life on earth. During a beautiful picnic under the stars however, they stumble upon an injured child...And a whole new crisis to avert...(Was written before Season 2 Premiered, I probably won't add elements from it.)
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 97
Kudos: 402
Collections: Clever Crossovers & Fantastic Fusions, Good Omens, The umbrella academy





	1. A Picnic Under the Stars

He couldn’t believe how naive he’d been.

He’d left the house for a cup of coffee, but the brew tasted off, he had dropped it. He recognised the taste of chemicals. Something had clearly been added to it.

That’s when he decided to look up....

The man behind the counter, that face...? He’d recognised it, where did he recognise it from? He strained to think, things were starting to become foggy...

Before he knew it, he was being attacked. Whoever the culprit was, he had back up, and even in this state he proved himself formidable. He forced his body to jump, teleporting to the kitchen to steal one of the knives before leaping into action.

Teleporting, he got behind one of the assailants, stabbing him in the neck, the familiar feeling of blood flowed over him from the new wound he had created. He gasped when felt the sting of a bullet grazing his abdomen.

 _Shit..._ he thought, _not... fast enough..._ he could feel his mind straining, struggling to process the world around him. His body burned.

But he persisted through the pain, he had to keep pushing, he managed to take out two more. Procuring a pistol from one of the deceased, he lodged a bullet into another with a shaking hand.

He knew he couldn’t keep this up, if he stayed he would only become more sloppy, he would be killed in a matter of seconds, and so, one split-second decision was all he had the time to make. He jumped and managed to get his hands on his attacker’s all-too-familiar briefcase, and without hesitation, he opened it...

———————————————

It had been a blessed three years since the Armageddon that wasn’t, all things considered, as far as Aziraphale had been concerned.

Himself and Crowley had finally been allowed the opportunity to settle down, see the sights and just enjoy life, free from the influence of their former associates. Life was good, life was simple.

On this particular spring day, he’d finally convinced Crowley, after a week of hounding, to accompany him to a picnic under the stars in the rural English hillsides, it was an opportunity to unwind and bask in each other’s company, isolated from the sounds of the bustling city. Stepping out of the bentley, Crowley grabbed the basket of food and a bottle of fine wine, whilst Aziraphale retrieved the blanket that they would be sitting on.

It was a beautiful night, the stars shone bright above them, and as they walked, Crowley told him an anecdote about his involvement in the creation of one of the stars above them.

“Acturus,” Crowley spoke, turning his head to glance at the angel, “helped make that one, massive, an orange giant.” He smirked, “impressive sight that is, did you know it’s the 4th brightest star in the sky?”

Aziraphale hummed in appreciation as he listened to the demon talk, sometimes he just enjoyed listening to him, he loved when the demon found a subject he was passionate about, it was a chance to truly engage with Crowley, and yet another reminder of the wonders of the universe around them. It was unbelievable to him now that at some point both of them would have been more than willing to allow the great plan to follow through, offering no resistance. They’d always been aware of it, of course, but it was simply unfathemable that all that currently surrounded them could have been gone in an instant without either of them so much as blinking an eye.

Crowley seemed to sense that Aziraphale was lost in thought, or perhaps it was the changing of the angel’s features, from a blissful smile to a slight frown that alerted him. He waved a hand in front of his face.

“Angel? You in there?” He asked, eyebrow raised in amusement.

“Oh!” Aziraphale exclaimed, his smile returning, “apologies my dear, my mind must have wandered off again.”

The demon gestured to the ground in front of them, “Is here good? Or shall we walk for another 40 nights to find the right spot?” He asked, sarcasm lacing his voice. Aziraphale looked around the area to check that the view was perfect enough, they stood at the top of a hill at the end of a clear field, the woods at their backs, overlooking a small farmhouse next to a lake that shone in the moonlight. His face lit up, “Here will do just fine!”

The angel set about unravelling the blanket, spreading it out above the smooth grass, Crowley straightened out some corners before both ended up settling down, placing the basket between them and procuring a wine glass each.

“Look at that view..” Aziraphale whistled, causing the demon to look at him through his glasses, “You know... I’ve always wondered if the almighty has plans for any of those other planets up there?”

Crowley took a sip of his wine, “Who knows?” He shrugged, “It’s a bit of a waste though, if you asked me... You know, making all of that space for nothing. Theres some beautiful worlds just out there, completely untouched. But I suppose...” he turned to face Aziraphale, the angel angling his body to reciprocate his gaze, “it’s not really in our place to question it, right?” He smirked.

Aziraphale let out a chuckle, “No, I suppose not. It’s ineffable after all.” He smiled fondly at the demon, who took another swig of his wine, finishing what was left of the liquid in the glass.

“Allow me, dear.” Aziraphale said, picking up the bottle, Crowley held out the glass allowing the angel to pour him another round of the fine wine. Once it was filled, he fiddled with the stem of the glass, rolling the liquid around inside.

He finally held it up towards the angel once more, “To us?” He offered, causing the angel to beam. “To us.” Aziraphale answered fondly, softly clinking the glasses together before drinking their night away.

At least that’s what was supposed to happen, instead, the sound of a branch snapping in the wooded area caught their attention, and then another, and then another, in amongst the rustling of leaves. They turned their gazes towards the source, and then back towards each other.

“Relax angel,” Crowley shrugged it off, turning his attention back to the wine and pulling some food out of the basket, “it’s probably just some of the wildlife, here, let’s eat, lest we forget, hm?” He offered, Aziraphale wearily returned his gaze to the demon.

“Yes... perhaps you’re right.” He offered another faint smile to the demon before picking up one of the finger sandwiches that lay between them.

Before he could take a bite, there was a dull thud and what sounded like leaves being disturbed, coming from that same direction, causing them to jump.

“Crowley-“ Aziraphale began before being hushed by the demon.

“Shh, sh... listen...” he whispered, finger raised in the air. They eyed each other, focussing on the sounds that were eminating from the woods. What sounded like wretching and coughing could be heard amongst the leaves rustling, and Aziraphale’s eyes widened.

“That sounds like-“ he began, trailing off.

“I think you might be right,” the demon agreed, “let’s go and see if we can’t help the poor bastard, probably some drunk that’s gotten lost.” He scoffed, Aziraphale’s expression hardened.

“Hush now Crowley! We don’t know that, there could be a perfectly innocent explanation to this that doesn’t involve inebriation. Not to mention it’s rude!”

Crowley raised his eyebrow once more at the angel, causing him to stutter, “Y-You know, perhaps its a lost hitchhiker... or perhaps a camper that had ate some bad food... or had unfortunately sampled some of the wild mushrooms! Unfortunate mistake really...” He huffed, “Not everyone just so happens to be a drunkard, Crowley.”

“Well, let’s get to finding out quicker then, shall we?” The demon smirked, turning his gaze forward, Aziraphale doing the same with a pout. The sounds of dry heaving grew closer, and it wasn’t long before they stumbled accross the source.

“It looks like you were right, angel.” Crowley said, crouching down to be level with the source, “certainly not a drunk...”

A young boy, no older than 13 flickered his gaze towards them, his eyes half-lidded and dazed, causing the angel to gasp lightly.  
He was kneeling, with one his hands outstretched, breathing heavily, his other hand wrapped around a solid black briefcase. The contents of his stomach spread out in front of him. He had red stains coating what looked to be the uniform of a child attending a private school, and his hair was matted and wet with a similar pigment, his complexion as white as the moon above them, and drenched in sweat, clearly exhausted.

The boy tried rising in defence, he made it half way off the ground before stumbling backwards, a sudden wave if dizziness hit him, and before he knew it, his world was black and his body cascaded downwards. Crowley lunged forward, sticking his hand out, catching the child’s chest to slow his fall, before lowering him more carefully towards the ground, making sure to avoid the mess he’d left earlier.

“My god-!” Aziraphale cried, covering his mouth in his initial shock before moving to crouch by the boy, feeling his forehead and pushing the stray strands of hair from his eyes, he checked over for any potential injuries. He immediately noticed how cold the child was, as well as the large gash across his front, fresh and bleeding, it solicited another gasp from the angel.

“Crowley, he-“

“I know, angel.” Crowley said calmly, his expression betrayed his tone, Aziraphale could see how uneasy and taken aback the demon felt, “quickly, let’s get him back to the car, we’ll get him somewhere warm.

Crowley placed one hand under the child’s back, and another under his legs, and hoisted him into the air. He was light enough, but his body was deadweight, completely limp. He could see the child’s chest hitching as he breathed, even in his sleep it seemed he felt the pain.

 _That’s definitely not a good sign..._ the demon frowned as he began to rush his way back to his beloved bentley.

Aziraphale felt queasy, he desperately wanted to help the boy, but he knew they should wait until they were safely indoors and out of the woods. He leaned down and grasped the briefcase, clutching it against his chest as the anxiety overtook him...

 _Who knows what attacked that poor boy..._ he sighed, he hadn’t heard of any animals capable of this kind of damage in these woods, far too clean, no sign of any claw marks... _thank goodness we showed up today, otherwise he might’ve-_ he had to halt his thoughts, breathing tighten in his throat, he didn’t want to think about it...

“Aziraphale, keep up will you!” He heard Crowley call from ahead, it was just the wake-up call he needed. He found himself in a light jog to close the gap between them.

Passing the blanket they had sat on, he stopped to gather the rest of the things, discarding the food that had been left out and pouring what was left inside of the glasses onto the grass before shoving them unceremoniously into the basket, slinging it over his arm.

He gathered up the blanket before continuing his jog back towards the car.

Crowley was crouched in front of the rear door, buckling the still-unconcious boy into the seat and muttering that he isn’t a monster, and that Aziraphale had told him seatbelts were important. The angel realised with fondness that the demon was in fact mumbling to the boy in some attempt at comfort, regardless of whether the boy could hear him or not, the angel felt his heart warm up at the rare display of the demon’s tenderness.

“Here Crowley...” he handed the demon the blanket, “He’s freezing cold, cover him with this.” The demon obliged, gently tucking it in at the boy’s sides before feeling his temple again.

“Whatever it was that he ate...” Crowley muttered, “it’s doing a number on him, we’ll need to make sure he has it completely out of his system.... otherwise...” he trailed off, rubbing his chin as he thought.

Aziraphale had moved to the trunk, placing the basket and the boy’s briefcase inside. “Otherwise what... Crowley?” He gulped.

“Otherwise he might not survive the car journey.” He quirked an eyebrow, “up for a small miracle, angel?”

Aziraphale took one of the wine glasses from the basket and held it in his left hand. Crowley stepped aside to allow Aziraphale to access the child. He placed his other hand on the child’s chest and focused.

The glass began to fill with a small, clear liquid, not much entered the glass before the angel had finished. He stood and faced Crowley.

“Well thats all of it certainly..” the angel said, observing the glass for its contents within. “What... is it?”

Crowley’s face turned sour, he looked frustrated, “It’s... well it’s poison but..” he bent down to inspect it closer, squinting, “but i’ve never seen this type before.” 

He turned his head towards the child once more, “The question remains.” He closed the rear door before running over to the drivers side. Clasping his hands together, he raised his head to gaze at Aziraphale over the car’s roof.

“Who or what would want to poison a little boy?”


	2. The Journey Home is a Long One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley arrive home with the mysterious boy.

Aziraphale found himself far too fidgety on the ride home. Both angel and demon were sat silently, taking in the night they’d been having, and trying to process what was happening.

Aziraphale pretended not to notice the demon eyeing him every so often under those glasses of his. He may not be able to see beneath them, but he could tell when the demon’s gaze was on him. He could also see the demon subtly angling his head to check his rear view mirror, something the angel couldnt help but smile at. Crowley eventually seemed to have caught on.

“What are you all smiley about?” He asked, not taking his eyes off the road. Aziraphale turned his head away to hide the small blush that had found its way to his face.

“Ah well.... I just-” he paused and sighed, taking the time to collect himself, thinking of the correct wording, he didn’t want to admit he’d been watching the demon, “well he’s... He’s rather cute back there, isn’t he? I mean.... if you can get past all the blood, and the injuries...” he said, turning his head to glance back at the sleeping child.

Crowley angled his head to see through the rearview window once more, “Certainty peaceful.” He knew that was the demon’s subtle way of agreeing.

Aziraphale found himself exhaling a shaky breath, “I just- Im worried, Crowley..” he turned to face the demon, “he’s so young... what could have done this. Y-you dont think it was-?”

“No.” Crowley said, “It wasn’t one of mine, had it been a demon’s work the boy wouldn’t be here right now, he’d be a mess of ashes and...” he wiggled one of his hands as if to emphasise his point, “...bits... no angel, it looks like the work of another human,” he glanced at Aziraphale, pulling off his glasses, “and a very smart one at that.”

“But _why_?”

Crowley shrugged, “I dont know, a murderer perhaps? Been plenty of child murderers in the past. The location would make sense, I mean, a remote wooded area? There’s no schools nearby and yet he’s still in his uniform. Must’ve been picked up. And the briefcase? Odd for a child to own. Must’ve stolen it from whoever had taken him.” He theorised, “But the poison... that’s a complete mystery.”

“He must be very brave, I can’t imagine trying to escape in such a position... and the poison, you mentioned that before.” Aziraphale wondered, “You said you’d never seen anything like it.”

“That’s because it doesn’t exist...” the demon’s expression hardened, “or, well, _didn’t_ rather. It’s likely that it wasn’t supposed to kill it’s target quickly, and there’s some amount of complicated biochemistry...stuff, that goes into making these things. I wonder if they wanted to toy with him before he died... I mean-“ Crowley finally noticed the horrified face of the angel staring right at him, “or- or it could have been a mistake? Ate something intended for someone else? Who knows”

If there was one thing Crowley would say about Aziraphale, it’s that he was far too sensitive.

“That is horrific! Is that what you lot do...?” He gasped, earning another side eye from the angel.

“No!” He exclaimed in annoyance, “well... yes but- Oi! What do you mean ‘you lot’, this wasn’t even a demonic incident, and last I remembered there was only US angel.” He snapped before noticing the angel flinch, he know he hadn’t meant it like that.

“I’m... sorry Crowley, that was insensitive of me. I just- I don’t see why-“

“Neither do I, angel, I say we just deal with the situation at hand and then we get our answers when the kid comes to.”

“Agreed!” Aziraphale turned his glance back to the child, whatever had happened, they would deal with it.

_I promise, you’ll be ok._

——————————————

It was just over an hour before they had arrived at Crowley’s home, by then it was Deep into the night, the sky pitch black, the street lamps illuminated the streets. At some point during the journey, the angel had fallen into his own dreams, Crowley found himself shaking the angel from his nap.

“Angel,” the man’s eyes fluttered open, catching Crowley’s own eyes, before shooting him a large, sleepy smile. Something about it sent a pang through the demon’s chest, he tried to surpress the warmth flooding his face.

“We’re home, would you hold open the front door while I carry our guest inside?”

At his words, the angel became alert, “Oh- oh yes of course!” He bolted upright, “let me just-“ he quickly exited the car, Crowley found some amusement at the angel’s urgency, and began to pull something out of his pocket before stepping out of the car.

“Crowley- dear i forgot-!”

“Keys, angel.” He tossed them to Aziraphale, who barely caught them, “Thank you!” The angel called back at him, causing him to surpress a chuckle at his expense. Approaching the rear door, Crowley eyed the boy inside before slowly opening it.

“Alright you, come here.”

He unbuckled the seatbelt, before wrapping the blanket further around the child and picking him up as carefully and as gently as he could. He pretended not to notice the angel following his every step.

“Oh! Crowley watch the curb-“  
“Yes, I know angel.”  
“And the step-!”  
“Thank you, Aziraphale.”  
“Oh- and don’t forge-“  
“I know, the stairs, I know. Don’t worry about us angel, just get inside.” He said, nodding his head to the man before entering.

Aziraphale let out an exasperated sigh, “Just trying to help, dear.”

They traversed the halls to Crowley’s bedroom, removing the now bloodstained blanket and laying the child on top of the bed. Once he had done so, he could the angel’s hands moving over his back, smoothing out the creases in his jacket. _This angel will be the death of me._

“Lets get to sorting that out then, shall we?” Crowley spoke, pointing to the gash on the child’s stomach. They set about removing the child’s blazer before they lifted the shitt and jumper to get a better look at the wound. “The good news,” began the demon, “is that it’s not that deep, we’ll still need to clean it. The bad news is, he’s still cold, I say we patch him up, get him a hot water bottle and some pyjamas, make him comfortable.”

He heard the snapping of fingers and a soft exclamation of “Done!” The angel stood clutching the hot water bottle, a pristine set of satin pyjamas and a first aid box. It was then, that Crowley remembered how much he adored Aziraphale’s miracles. Always full of surprises, and almost none of them performed to benefit himself, despite the off marshmallow or two when he’s stirring his coco.

“Thanks” he shot a small smile to the angel, taking the medical box from his arms, the angel lay the pyjamas down and grabbed the hot water bottle. “I’ll go and put the kettle on... be gentle with him, will you Crowley?” He felt like snapping one of his usual sarcastic quips, but seeing the soft, concerned expression his angel’s face held, he settled for a simple nod. The angel was satisfied, tip-toeing from the room and towards the kitchen.

Crowley turned his attention back to the child. How frail he looked, he wondered of the fear he must have felt, so hurt and alone in the wilderness. Humans could be so cruel. He shook his head, he shouldn’t let that occupy his mind.

He applied some antiseptic, he could swear he heard the boy’s breath sharpen for a moment, but he showed no sign of stirring.

Aziraphale entered the room once again just as crowley was finishing with the bandages, he took the time to clean some of the excess blood from the boy’s stomach and face before performing his own miracle, replacing the uniform with the pyjamas that Aziraphale had willed into existence.

“There we are.” He stood up with a sigh, “patched up and comfy as can be.”

Aziraphale walked to the boy’s side, placing the water bottle near his feet, and tucking the boy into the covers. “Are you sure we’ve done quite enough, Crowley?”

“As much as we can do for now I suppose... come on, let’s set up some sleeping bags, no way are we leaving him alone.”

Aziraphale smiled fondly, “my thoughts exactly, and Crowley... thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” He smiled back. _really, please._

——————————————-

It was just after dawn broke that the boy seemed to stir, a groan escaping his lips.

The angel had been thuroughly engrossed in a book at the time, next to a snoring Crowley, who had abandoned the sleeping bag, spreading his limbs out at impossible angles, Aziraphale wondered how on earth that was comfortabe.

He startled at the sound, budging Crowley’s face. “Crowley.” He whispered, “Crowley!”

“Wh... wha’s it... angel?” His mouth opened wide in a yawn.

“The boy-“ just as Aziraphale was about to explain, another groan ledt the child, snapping Crowley to his senses.

“Oh! Right, yes, the boy!” Both stumbled to their feet, moving to the boy’s side quickly. They could see his eylids flickering open ever so slightly, until something snapped in him, and his expression changed to panic.

He attempted to sit up, finding his arms weren’t co-operating, kicking his legs around frantically, “Wh-wha? Where-“

“Calm down!” Aziraphale found himself holding the boy’s chest down, Crowley holding down his legs. “You’re safe! Please be calm- you’ll hurt yourself!”

The boy fought until he had depleted what little strength he had in him, the struggling stopped and he was left panting, they could see his eyes finally landing on the angel and coming into focus. “Who.... who are-“ he breathed, his voice croaked, Aziraphale cut him off.

“Shh bow, dear boy, you’re alright, we’ll look after you.” He placed his hand in his cheek, “can you tell us your name?”

“F-Five..” he squeaked out, in a half cry as a pang of pain shot through him. He was so tired...

“Not your age, your name.” Crowley piped up from behind the angel, earning a half-lidded glance from the boy.

“I... jus’ told y-you... genius...”  
And with the, the boy slipped back into unconsciousness.

“Well.” Crowley huffed, “A charming one, isn’t he?”

“...I must admit, it’s an odd name to give a child..” Aziraphale rubbed his chin.

“I’ll say, what prick names their child after a number?”

“Crowley!” Aziraphale exclaimed in a hushed tone, “Language! We’re in front if a child.” He scolded, the demon rolled his eyes in response.

“Oh come on angel, kids say much worse things nowadays.” He arned a scowl from the angel, “What? It’s true!”

“You are unbelievable, Crowley.”


	3. Some Good Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five finally gets a good cup of Coffee.

It was midday that Five next opened his eyes.

He found himself straining to see through the sunlight, pouring in through the open window, he felt the first painful throb wrack through his brain. The Initial confusion set in.

Where was he? There had been two men, they’d spoken... he’d told them his name...

He gathered his surroundings, finding that he was in a spacious room, dark and grey, yet despite the dull colouring the setting seemed rather luxurious.

He wedged himself into a sitting position, supporting his back against the headboard. In front of the king-size bed, he could see two large plants, and a large window. He hadn’t meant to glare at the light source directly, it caused him to wince once more as his head continued to pound.

“I know the feeling.” He heard a voice ring out from his side, “Unfortunately my friend insisted you ‘get some light’” the voice said sarcastically.

He snapped his head around to find a red-haired man, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed at his front. He wore an unusual pair of sunglasses.

“Five, is it?” The boy nodded in response, “Good,” the man smirked, “I’ll be honest, when you first said it, I thought you maybe had brain damage or the likes. I mean, it is a bit of a daft name, is it not?” He pushed himself to stand upright before stepping further into the room, “Five...” he lingered on the ‘e’ as he swayed, observing the boy.

Five studied him, the man had a strange look about him, but his demeanor wasn’t hostile, he didn’t seem like a threat. He supposed this was who had saved him, otherwise the poison whould have killed him by no- wait... the poison? It was no longer in his system. How was it possible that he was even still alive?

“Yeah... well...” Five began, swallowing in an attempt to clear the hoarseness of his voice, “Don’t I know it.”

This seemed to amuse the man, who slowly sat on the matress next to The boy. He didn’t miss the subtle way Five’s body backed up.

“Anthony J. Crowley.” He offered out his hand to the boy, who stared at it dumbly for a moment. “My name.” He clarified. He boy reached his hand out, accepting the handshake.

“So...” he began, the urge to clear his throat once more resurfaced... god he needed a coffee. “Where are we?”

“Oh, you’re in my house.” The demon spoke, “See, we found you in some woods and-“

“No.” The boy cut him off, “I mean- I mean _where_ are we?” He clarified. Crowley raised his eyebrow at this, “We’re in... London, England..” he said slowly. It’s as if something had frightened the boy, he watched Five’s face twist frin confusion to a look that could only be described as-

“Shit.” The boy breathed, much to his amusement. He found himself oddly taken aback at the exclamation, and clearly he wasn’t alone. A small gasp could be heard in the doorway that Crowley had appeared from, and a brightly dressed blonde man came tumbling in holding a breakfast tray.

“Crowley!” The man exclaimed, “I can’t believe you would teach-!” Crowley cut him off with a faint chuckle. “Oh no, angel. That had nothing to do with me. I told you though.” He smirked, referring to their conversation the night before.

The man huffed in disapproval, Five had the feeling that this was a common interraction between the two, Crowley seemed to relish in his friend’s annoyance. The man finally turned his gaze towards him, a smile appearing on his face.

“Ah hello there!” The man exclaimed, “I’m glad to see you’re awake again. Gave myself and my partner here quite the scare last night.” He made his way to the other side of Five, placing the tray on the boy’s lap. “I do hope you like toast, and I brought some water, just in case you weren’t fond of anything else we had in the house.”

The hunger seemed to dawn on the boy, it’d been a while since he’s eaten anything. “Do you... have any coffee?” He asked them, causing the man to glance over to Crowley.

“Are we... dear, are we allowed to give coffee to children?” They both seemed to miss the eyeroll that Five had given at the mention of the word. Crowley shrugged, “Don’t know, don’t really care either to be honest angel, I rather fancy a cup myself!” He exclaimed, rising from the bedside. “I’ll go make us a pot, how do you take it?” He asked Five.

“Black.” He offered the demon a tight-lipped smile. “Good man.” The demon responded with a smile, before sauntering out of the room, leaving him alone with the bright man.

“He can be quite a handful some times.” He spoke, gaining the boy’s attention once more, “I do hope he didn’t give you any bother...” the man readjusted himself, patting down his coat before offering his hand out, much in the same way that Crowley had done.

“Aziraphale.” The boy raised his hand and returned the handshake. “Five.” He stated, he noticed Aziraphale’s feature brighten at the word, “Well it’s wonderful to meet you, Five. How are you feeling?”

To say he felt like shit was an understatement. Five had tried to push back the dull throbbing of his head, accompanied by numerous aches and the occasional spike of pain near his wound.

“I’m alright.” He croaked out, Aziraphale nodded, seemingly eyeing him over once more. “Well you just eat and drink up, If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.” He stood to give the boy some space. Five began to drink the glass of water that the angel had so kindly given him, gulping it down quickly, his throat feeling instantly better. God, he’d needed that.

“Careful!” Aziraphale exclaimed, “not too much at once now, I wouldn’t want you to-“

“I’ll be alright.” The boy interrupted him, surprising the man. Five angled his head up, offering the same tight lipped grin, “Thank you.”

“Ah yes, quite.” He chuckled akwardly.

 _Gosh..._ the angel wondered, _He seems rather smug._  
It felt vaguely similar to Crowley.

———————————————

By the time the demon had arrived back with the two hot cups of coffee, the angel had moved to sit on an arm chair in the corner of the bedroom, and Five had just finished eating.

“Allow me to take that away from you.” Aziraphale smiled, picking uo the tray, and leaving for the kitchen.

“Here we are!” Crowley reclaimes his spot on the bed, carefully handing the brew to the child. “One coffee, black.” He found it amusing the way the boy’s face subtly lit up. The boy took the cup, inspecting the liquid within. He dipped his finger in before tasting a small drop. Once he’d found it was safe, he proceeded to take a large gulp.

“What?” Crowley asked in amusement, “Afraid I’d have pit something in it?” Aziraphale entered the room, sitting beside Crowley.

Five turned his gaze back to the demon, “Can’t blame a guy for being cautious.” He sheugged, “I assume you were the one that saw the results of my last coffee.” He swirled the liquid around the cup, “this isn’t half bad, best i’ve had in a long time.”

The way the demon’s face hardened wasn’t lost on him, nor was it lost on Aziraphale, who was glancing at Crowley in question.

“So people were trying to kill you then.” Five nodded, the angel finally seemed to have tuned in, he shot the boy a look of concern. “Who?” The demon pushed, his voice lowered.

“Irrelevant.” The boy stated, taking another drink from his cup.

“My dear boy I- I do think that it’s rather important-“  
“I’m not a ‘boy’.”

Aziraphale seemed to mull over the boys words, “I do apologise- what pronouns do you-“

“No-no I mean, I’m not a _child_ , i’m a man.” Five clarified, “And it’s under control, I’m handling it.”

Eyebrow quirked, Crowley chuckled, “Are you sure? Last night begs to differ.” He raised his own cup to his lips, “and your appearance is a bit of a contradiction there, kid. I mean, you were in your school clothes.” He’d definitely struck a nerve. The boy’s face soured, and he scoffed. “Listen, I’ve dealt with much worse on my own for much longer than either of you pea-brains could even comprehend. I’ve done horrible things to some very dangerous people. I think I’ll manage.” He turned his attention back to the cup, “Oh, and i’m much, much older than you.” He shot them another smug grin.

Aziraphale sat confused, he could see that Crowley hadn’t believed a word of the child’s soeech either. “Oh, so you.. you the literal _child_ sitting in front of us, two _grown adults_ , are in fact older than us?” The boy nodded.

“Go on then, just how old are you?”  
“I’ll turn 61 in October.” 

It was the demon’s turn to scoff. “Yeah, I find that hard to believe somehow, and even so, we are so,” he leaned in closer, as if in a warning, “so much older than that.”

The boy rolled his eyes once again, “Whatever you say, Anthony”

Crowley was sure he was seeing red, “That’s _Crowley_ to you.” He growled.

“Alright then, Crowley.” Five rolled his eyes as he shrugged the demon off.  
Aziraphale, who had been sitting, twiddling his thumbs akwardly during their argument, finally spoke up. “Crowley dear, perhaps we should give him some space for now... I think we’ve overdone it for today.” He stood up, dragging the demon along with him.

“Five if you-“ he hesitated, “Call us if you want anything, ok?” He saw the boy nod at him.

“Good... good, come along Crowley, let’s let him rest a bit longer, shall we?”

Once they had both exited the room, Aziraphale closed the door as quietly as possible, before they both made their way down the hallway and into the sitting area.

“Now Crowley-“ he could see the angel was fuming.  
“Don’t scold me angel, that boy has some amount of nerve-“

“Crowley!” He exclaimed, the demon looked at him, huffing. “He’s a child, and he’s been through too much for one day. Let him rest... he may just be too overwhelmed... things like that can-” he gestured his arms towards his head to emphasise, “-muddle things up in there.”

Crowley swayed, mulling over the angels words before relenting.

“Alright angel, perhaps you’re right...” he sighed, “but if that little shit thinks-“

“Language dear.”  
“Whatever, angel.”

Aziraphale found himself smirking, _oh Crowley, you don’t realise how similarly you behave._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for reading so far, im having a lot of fun writing this, and im very glad you’re enjoying it!
> 
> The promo for season 2 looked fantastic right? I can’t wait!


	4. Time to Think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five attempts to recall what happened.

Alone again, Five could finally try to put the pieces together.

A small, unpleasant feeling washed over him, he realised that what he was feeling was guilt. Small, but still there.

_Perhaps I should have chosen my words better.._

The man, Aziraphale, seemed decent enough, more cheery than he’d been used to. Certainly not the confrontational type, and he’d felt the man had been genuinely worried about him. However, he could tell he’d believed Five to be confused, he didn’t believe a word of what the boy had said, much to his dismay. Aziraphale seemed the most reasonable of the two.

And then there was that Crowley fellow, smug, certainly a piece of work. He regarded him the same way he would regard Diego, the idiotic black costume, confrontational to a fault...

And what was the deal with those sunglasses? Indoors, really?

Five shook his head, _No._ he scolded himself, _I need to focus._

He tried to remember, he tried to focus on the details of the night before. It was around 6pm, he’d left his home in annoyance, he remembered his siblings arguing over something just as stupid as ever. He’d mumbled something about needing a coffee to Allison before taking his dad’s old car to the first diner he could find.

He certainly remembers getting his coffee. He’d considered it quite the relief, he could finally relax, away from the bickering of his brothers and sisters. But when he drank it...

Five scrubched his nose, the drink... he remembered the strong chemical taste, the initial alarm... everything after that...

 _That’s not..._ he brought his hands to his forehead, _Think! You saw something- what did you see!_

A face, a silhouette, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t recall the details. He knew it! He’d recognised it, but he just can’t remember...

Five let out a shaky breath, willing his memory to return, but to mo avail. “Fuck.” He mumbled, he could remember snippets of the attack, of him stealing the briefca-

“The briefcase...” he gasped. He had to find it.

Though his body protested, five twisted his body, lowering is legs onto the floor. It was then that he registered his clothing. “Comfy.” He mumbled.

His legs were refusing to fully co-operate, he found himself stumbling towards a chest of drawers, his arm landing on it, holding him upright. The sudden movement agitated his injury, he found himself clutching his remaining arm across the injury. He’d have to move slowly..

Slow movements, baby steps, he carefully made his way around the walls of the room towards the door, exiting the bedroom. He was met with a long, equally as dull hallway, long, and filled with many, many more plants. If he wasn’t mistaken, Crowley’s use of the word ‘House’ was a bit of an understatement. This felt more like a mansion. The eerie feeling of the plants dawned on him, how oddly perfect they were, devoid of any flaws, and far greener than average. He wondered if the men were gardeners.

He had also noticed how quiet it all was. A house like this would surely echo at even the slightest movement, yet the air remained still, he wondered whether they were home.

He continued onward, swearing he could see one or two of the plants rustling as he passed, despite him not being near enough to even graze them. He chose to focus on the task at hand.

He rounded a corner and found himself gazing in at the livingroom, both men sat on the couch in front of him, a red head lay on the shoulder of bright, cream jacket, their backs to him. A small rustling of paper, and a light snore. Crowley was having a light nap as his angel became thoroughly engrossed in his latest novel.

It was a strange dynamic, Five wondered if they were a couple... It made sense, and he really should have put the pieces together even in his half-lucid state. At Aziraphale calling Crowley “dear”, at Crowley’s little pet name for the man, “angel”. For such opposites, it made him wonder what they could possibly see in one another.

He persevered on his journey, attempting to tiptoe towards the door, when his legs decided that now was the time to give up. He stumbled once more, eliciting a hiss as he once again irritated his wound. It frightened Aziraphale, who jumped, which frightened Crowley, who bolted upright.

“Angel! Is everything-“  
“Oh my!” Aziraphale gasped, laying down his book and making his way over to the boy. Crowley’s face straightened in annoyance at his own show of weakness, and what had caused it. He wouldn’t like to admit the angel had startled him.

Bent double, Five instantly regretted his little adventure, he’d have to explain himself.

“Why aren’t you resting?” The angel half-scolded. “You’ll do yourself some damage! You need your strength.”

“It’s fine,” he managed, “I can-“

“No, you clearly can’t.” He heard the demon, who had joined the angel at his side, say. “Look at you, you’re exhausted, and barely able to function.”

Five twisted his head upright to glare at the man, showing his teeth in a sarcastic smile, “Thank you for the input.”

He got some odd satisfaction at the annoyance Crowley displayed, “I say we let him do what he likes, angel.” He said, making his way back to the couch, “No skin off my back.”

Aziraphale wasn’t thrilled at his attitude, however, Five could tell that he had also crossed the line. 

“I’ve had just about enough of this.” He frowned, “Both of you need to calm down. What good is snipping at each other going to do! Five, It’s always ok to ask for help, and we will help you but _please,_ ” he pleaded, “Can we at least be civil?”

The boy kept his eyes for a moment, before relenting, nodding his head. Aziraphale then turned to Crowley, “And Crowley, my dear, please don’t antagonise the child.”

“Antagonise the wh- Angel! Are you deaf, in what way did I antagon-“

“Crowley...” Aziraphale warned, whe demon let out a heavy sigh.

“Yessss alright. I’ll behave, but only for your sake.”

“I should think so. Look, we’ve all.. been through a lot in the last day, we should probably relax and- Oh! Oh Crowley- Crowley he’s- he’s bleeding!”the angel exclaimed pointing at the boy’s stomach. Through his pyjamas, a deep red stain was forming.

It was then that Five cursed his senses, how could he have missed that, surely he would have felt that... he...

He needed rest. As stubborn as ever he supposed, he just had to keep on pushing and make it all worse for himself. Damn it..

Crowley made his way back over to the pair, crouching down to the boy’s level, he moved to lift his shirt to see the damage, only for his hand to be grabbed by said boy’s.

“Are you going to let me check you over or what?” The demon moved his own hand up, pushing the boy’s hand off him. He saw something...

“Just a moment-“ he exclaimed, before lifting the boy’s sleeve, “Is that..?”

“A tattoo?” The angel finished his sentence with a gasp. The umbrella tattoo was in full sight of the men. Five tugged his arm away, covering it once again, “Don’t ask.” He mumbled, “I’d rather not get into the details.”

Both men shared a look before getting back to the task at hand, they knew this was a matter to be discussed later. By now, Aziraphale was all that was supporting Five’s weight. “Can you walk?” He asked. A bit of a dumb question, he realised, “Oh... no, I don’t suppose you can. Crowley-“

“Say no more angel, lets get him back to bed.” He grabbed hold of the boy’s waist, hoisting him up before putting his arms under his legs. What a great way to repeat last night.

Crowley envied the boy, he could go for a good sleep right around now. He heard the boy clear his throat.  
“Listen.” Five began, “I... apologise, for my behaviour.” He swallowed, as if pondering his next move. “I don’t like to rely on people, much less strangers, but, I have to admit when i’m stuck. You’ve helped me a lot...” he shifted to gaze at Aziraphale, “Both of you, I appreciate it.”

Crowley felt himself smiling down at the boy, glad to see a little bit of the walls the boy had put up crumbling away, it was a good feeling. Perhaps he wasn’t as bad as he’d have thought...

Aziraphale nudged him, bringing him back to reality, he stuttered, “Y-yeah don’t mention it kid... I’m sorry as well, I can be quite- well, hot headed.”

Aziraphale clasped his hands together in joy, “Lovely, simply marvellous! Now let’s get you patched up!”

———————————————

Daylight had broken back at the academy, Diego and Luther had awoken first, and were already in the kitchen by the time Klaus, Vanya and Allison had arrived. Luther called a sibling meeting.

“Are we gonna talk about it?” Diego pressed, causing luther to shoot him a glare.

“Listen,” Allison began, “If we’re all going to start arguing again, i’d like to save myself some time and-“

“No-no, Allison, please stay.” Luther said, rubbing the back of his head. Gaining an akward glance from Vanya and Klaus.

“So tell us big guy, what are we here for?” Klaus groaned out, “Some guys need their beauty sleep you kn-“

“Klaus, you’ve been sleeping for over 12 hours..” Vanya sighed, earning a dramatic gasp.

“That’s because I happen to be _stunning_. The more beautiful you are, the longer you sleep! That’s why Diego-“

“Klaus.” Luther sighed.  
“Oh well gee, fine. What are we here for?”

“Five hasn’t come home yet, not since the argument.” Diego stated, “we should go out and search for him.”

Klaus scoffed, “Oh please, the old timer hardly needs our help.. he’s probably just out getting shot at or, I don’t know, doing something else with his life.” He proceeded to take out a cigarette and light it, talking a long drag before he continued, “maybe he’s found some other poor bastards to annoy.”

Allison rolled her eyes at her brother’s words, Luther shook his head before stating, “Allison and Vanya will search downtown, Diego, you should probably look after Klaus, search around the shopping areas. I’ll check the boardwalk.

“Oh come on, Diego? Look after ME?” Klaus laughed, “What is he, my babysitter?”

“Yes,” Diego said, grabbing his arm, “Now come on, let’s get a head start on these bozos.”

“Remember, keep an eye out for dad’s car!” Luther called after them, “Wherever it is, he’s probably closeby!”

Diego waved a hand at him, and soon, himself and Klaus were gone.

“Why are we searching for him?” Vanya questioned, “I mean... he’s been gone for over a day quite a few times, what makes this-“

“We’ve all made a promise.” Allison grabbed hold of her hand, “No sibling left behind, remember?” She smiled.

“The last time Five went missing it was because that Commission of his tried to have him killed, we don’t want him getting into a situation that he cant get out of alone... like-“ Luther explained, cutting himself off to think of an example.

“...Like when i blew up the world...?” Vanya offered.

“That’s not what I-“ Luther exclaimed, she nodded at him before cutting him off, “no-no I know. It was just..” she offered a faint smile, “the first example I thought of.”

Herself and Vanya soon bustled out of the door, Luther folowing suit. They split up at the houses enterance.

“Do you think he’s ok?” Vanya asked after a few minutes of walking, “Five, I mean.”

“Without a doubt. He’s strong, he knows how to handle himself. Are you worried?” Allison asked her.

“Always.” Vanya breathed out, earning a chuckle from her sister.

“Me too.”


	5. The Search is on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hargreeves siblings bond while searching for Five.

Much had changed for the siblings over the years. 

Allison had recently been allowed shared-custody of Claire, she was to have her only within the Summer and Christmas holiday seasons. Due to this, she had decided to move into a mansion near the academy in order to support the rest of her family. She sooner found herself the nominated host of thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, as well as some bi-weekly sleepovers.

Vanya had grown much closer to them all. After the theatre, a pact had been made by the siblings that they’d always be there for one-another, and they stuck true to that. They all realised that they only truly had each other, and for the most part, decided to stick around the academy more often. Vanya relished in the attention she was recieving, she finally felt like a true part of the family, and she understood exactly how her powers worked and what they could be used for... but above all, she understood what she was truly capable of.

Luther and Klaus stayed relatively the same. Luther still kept his by-the-book attitude, and now focused on keeping his brothers and sisters united. He gained a new appreciation for them and their strengths, and while he still certainly liked to think of himself as “Number 1” from time to time, he was always sure to listen to everyone’s opinion before making a decision.

Klaus had stayed sober... somewhat. It was easy to fall back into old habits. Ben remained his source of encouragement, and while they still tended to bicker, their bond is as strong as ever. Klaus had finally taken the time to practice his power, which Ben was particularly about as he could now communicate directly to the rest if the family through his brother, who had finally been able to manifest him for around a minute’s period at a time. He often ponders the faces of his brothers and sisters after the first time he’d spoken to them, it was the most wonderful experience he’d ever had.

Of the rest of them, Diego and Five had changed the least. 

Five was still closed off, secretive. It bothered his siblings to no end. Five had agreed to make an effort, but when it came to getting closer to his siblings, progress had been non-existent. He wouldn’t tell them where he would go off to, he would often skip meals, and he kept his cold demeanor. However, his siblings were all he had, and he occasionally let his mask slip around them, his fondness shining through for all of them. While his body remained the same, his life had changed for the better...

But he couldn’t escape the fear. The fear that he’d wake up in the apocalypse alone, the fear that the Commission would come back for him, attempt to finish the job. That he’d end up with another situation on his hands, that there’d be a repeat of what happened to Klaus when he’d ended up in Hazel and Cha Cha’s hands. In truth, he was barely coping, yet he’d never admit that to any of them.

Then, there was Diego , who seemed to rather enjoy the new normal that came with his family, he found it comforting to know there would still be people in the world looking out for him, that actually cared. It took im a while to get over Patch, but the void she had left had been lessened over time by the care of his siblings. However, he still remained stubborn as ever, and wished to go off and do his own thing every once in a while as he furthered he continued to play the role of Vigilante.

Diego, currently, was straining to hear himself think over the sound of Klaus’s whining.

“Why are we even out here doing this?” Klaus sighed, “You know he’d never actually do this for us right? Actually... come to think of it, he sorta did, with the apocalypse shit. Nevermind, he _would_ do this for us if he wasn’t drunk or felt like it would somehow cause the end of the world.” He scoffed, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

“I mean, is it so much for us to ask for maybe, I don’t know, a ‘Hello my dearest, darling siblings, I will be going out to this place, so you could find me if I, y’know, go missing or whatever.”

“Klaus-” Diego began, before being cut off as the rant continued.  
“Surely it’s not that hard?”  
“Klaus-“  
“He has some nerve, I mean, come on-!”  
**”Klaus!”**

Klaus blinked at him, taken aback by the sudden change of his brother’s tone.

“Will you just stop with the complaining? This is too important, and you are too annoying.”

“Well gee, I love you too, bro.” Klaus blew a kiss sarcastically, causing Diego to roll his eyes as they continued to walk.

Their silence lasted the better part of a minute before Klaus piped up once more,

“Can we stop for food? Ben wants some pancakes.”

“I do not.” The ghostly brother groaned, earning a hiss from the Seance. “If I want anything, it’s waffles.”

“Well you tell ‘Ben’ we’re a little bit busy.” Diego huffed, “This is our brother we’re looking for, come on, let’s keep up the pace.”

After a heavy groan, the two continued their walk in silence.

 _A miracle,_ Diego smirked, _finally some peace and quiet._

——————————————-

Over on the opposite side if town, Vanya and Allison weaved through the many street corners, the occasional fan would stop Allison for a while to exclaim their adoration to her, Vanya found it quite amusing, especially at the embarrassment her sister desplayed.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” She finally smirked, pulling Allison out of her thoughts.

“Not really,” she pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, “It comes with the job, I guess. I’d be lying to say i’ll ever get used to it though...”

Vanya laughed, earning an amused look from Allison, “You know, I always believed it would be a dream come true,” she reminisced, “all that attention, the glamour, the lights... an audience to be adored by...”

“Well,” Allison began, “You werent completely wrong.” She admitted, “It’s a great experience, and a better life. I can go where I want, do what I want and not have to worry about taxes.” She sighed, “but the cameras can get tiring, and what’s the point of any of it if I can’t be with the people I love..”

Vanya nodded, she understood that the separation of Claire had taken a large toll on her sister, she was glad they could talk to each other about it. 

“I look forward to meeting her...” Vanya began, “Claire. I hope i’ll be a good aunt..”

“I’ve no doubt that you will be, Vanya,” she smiled, “we have another two months before she can come and stay, I can help you prepare! We could set up a few hobby days, one-on-one play sessions, with all of you, she’s going to love it.” There was much fondness as she spoke, Vanya’s excitement at meeting her niece only grew with every word.

“Well, maybe not Klaus, not alone anyway. You know, I get the feeling he would be a bad role model?”

“Won’t we all?” Vanya scoffed.

“You got me there sis!” Allison pushed her arm lightly as they both laughed, “Maybe he’d be a great uncle, he used to always love stealing my nail polish and heels, maybe they’d get along wonderfully.”

“Well he always did like braiding our hair, and do you remember when dad caught him in that dress?”

“Oh my god how could I not! But you know, it... oddly suited him? Oh! Could you imagine Five with her? He looks the youngest, she’s bound to like him. Do you think he’d actually _sit_ and play tea parties with her?”

It was enough to send both sisters into a laughing fit, loud enough to draw the attention if the nearby pedestrians, who gawked at them.

But Vanya couldn’t bring herself to care, once upon a time her embarrassment would have overcome her, but now she felt nothing short of bliss.

———————————————

Luther took his time circling the riverside, no alleyway was left unturned.

He wouldn’t want to admit it, but the boy had a habit for putting him on edge. 

He would experience anger when Five would make remarks, and those ever-so-witty comebacks. Or when Five would speak of the innocent people he’s murdered, especially when he’d justified it by explaining it was done in order to save all of their lives.

He’d feel envy whenever Five explained something to the group that was beyond his level of comprehension. Luther wished he could match his intelligence, it made him feel inferior, weaker. Something he’s never been used to.

But Five also made him experience fear, and sorrow. He could relate to him in a way, the loneliness both had felt, their lives and futures ripped from them, far from civilisation, and the sheer loneliness of it all. When he was hurt, or he hadn’t come home, Luther worried that he would be gone, for good this time. He loved his brother, truly he did, while they may but heads a lot, he understands Five’s strengths, and what he has done for their family.

That’s when he would experience happiness, and peace. Thanks to Five, they’d made it through the apocalypse, they’d made it home, they’d finally decided to regroup as a family without dad’s influence.

Together, they’d ushered in a new and better world.

And that’s why they had to find him, the anger, the fear and the sorrow. He was his brother, they’d only just gotten him back in the grand scheme of things, they couldn’t afford to lose him again.

He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle it...

Somewhere in Luther’s train of thought, he’d wandered absentmindedly down an alleyway, and into another street. He saw the red and blue lights, and an established crime scene.

He walked towards it for a better view, examining from afar. He could see a body bah on a stretcher being rolled out of thre door of a diner, and multiple police on the scene.

It was then that he paid attention to what he was standing next to.

 _Shit-_ he pulled out his smartphone, shooting a quick message to their family group chat, _Shit shit shit-“_

_‘Guys’ he typed, ‘I found dad’s car.’_

_‘Where u at?’ Diego responded._

_‘Get to Barton St. Wimpys.’  
‘There’s been an incident.’_

_‘Can u c 5?’ Allison responded._

_‘No, but there’s police here, and at least one body. Get here asap.’_

_———————————————_

“God,” Five scoffed, looking down at his injury. He’d undone the bandages to get a look at the danage for himself. “No wonder i’ve not been able to recover yet, you guys clearly don’t know how to handle this sort of thing.” 

Aziraphale stood horrified, cringing at the sight, while Crowley folded his arms in front of himself and slouched. 

“Oh _please_ don’t bring her into this, and no, I can’t say we’ve really had to deal with anything remotely like this.” Five raised an eyebrow at him. 

“You know, my brother said something similar once.” He ran his hand over the sides of the deep gash, it was definitely going to get infected if he didn’t work fast. 

“Got any sewing kits and rubbing alcohol?” 

“Not on us, no” Crowley shook his head, glancing at a Aziraphale. “I can quickly run to a store and get some if you like!” 

“Thanks, I’d appreciate that. Shame they don’t sell medical needles in a supermarket.. although at this rate, any sewing kit will do.” 

With a nod, the angel left in a hurry. 

“Alright, alright. Must make this believable Aziraphale” he mumbled to himself outside the door. He miracled some medical needles and thread onto a nearby table. 

“Oh yes! Musn’t forget...” he then miracled some fresh bandages and antiseptic to go along with it. 

He stood for what felt like an hour, tapping his foot outside the room, desperate to deliver the help needed but to also not reveal what himself and Crowley truly are... 

He couldn’t stand delaying the boy’s help any longer, he hurried back inside the room with the supplies. 

“That was... quick, angel..” Crowley stated slowly, willing Aziraphale to come up with an excuse. “You were only gone for _five minutes._ “ 

Aziraphale gulped, cursing himself internally. 

“Yes well I-uh...” he swallowed, cracking under the incredulous look the boy was shooting him, “Your... father, the... the d-doctor... yes, I found some old medical supplies in his old cabinet..” 

“Right yes... I forgot to clear that out when I... inherited... the place.” Crowley picked up, Aziraphale shooting a nervous smile. 

“Thank sa- goodness I didn’t then.” He concluded. They thought they’d done a pretty good job at covering it up. 

“Right well...” Aziraphale approached Five, handing him the supplies, “Here you go.” 

“...Thanks.” Five said slowly, unsure of what he had just witnessed. 

Nevertheless, he pressed onwards, beginning with the nasty job of cleaning his wound out. Grabbing the antiseptic, and a cloth that Crowley so graciously handed him, he began to dab the substance to the sensitive area, causing him to wince and surpress a hiss. Aziraphale was beginning to feel woozy. 

When Crowley saw him bring out the needles, he realised the boy had intended to do it alone. 

“Woah woah, one moment, why don’t I do that for you.” 

Five shrugged, who was he to turn down a helping hand at that moment. 

“Sure, I’ll talk you through it.” The statement startled Crowley, as if some kid would need to talk him through it... 

Five threaded the needle, tying a knot in the thread to prevent it coming loose, before holding it out in his palm along with a pair of tweezers. “Now take these tweezers, lift the needle up with them.” He instructed, Crowley obliged. 

“Blimey, this thing is small..” 

Five instructed him through the first few threads before Crowley had gotten the hang of them, continuing onward, every so often five would let out a pained gasp, the demon almost felt bad for him. 

“Not to pry or anything kid but.. where did you learn how to do this?” He asked in genuine awe. He wasn’t sure if the boy winced from the pain or the question itself. 

“I was...” he began, “It’s just something I picked up. I was alone for a while when I was younger... Dad would have called it ‘adapting.’” He mimicked the words with his fingers. 

“Not to seem rude but,” Crowley finished the stitches, cutting the thread before looking up to the boy’s face, “You’re dad seems like quite the arsehole.” 

“You’re definitely not wrong.” Five smirked back, “Finest parenting known to man.” 

He turned his gaze towards Aziraphale, Crowley doing the same. 

“Quite alright there, Angel?” He questioned, “You’re looking a bit pale.” 

“Yes dear...” Aziraphale gulped, skin crawling. “Quite alright... would- would you just excuse me, one moment-“ he scurried out of the room. 

Crowley found himself chuckling, pulling out the fresh badages and beginning to wrap them around the wound, “Yeah, he really hasn’t got the stomach for this sort of thing.” 

“I can’t say I blame him.” Five smiled back. 

“I had the same reaction my first time around too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Forgot to add this little bit on, I have a Tumblr!
> 
> You can find me @scout-556
> 
> I apologise though, it’s mostly just Bioshock related things and memes xD
> 
> But hey, it’s something!


	6. Among the Spirits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley inquires about Five’s parents, Five inquiries about the briefcase.
> 
> The siblings search the diner.

It was another few hours before Five would convince them he was ready to eat.

Night was falling, the sun ready to set. He sat at the head of a large dining table, Aziraphale and Crowley on either side of him, facing each other.

Crowley had decided to run to Aziraphale’s favourite fast food place for the sake of convenience, bringing home three meals. It was then, Five noticed, that two of the three meals ordered were going to Aziraphale, one of chicken curry, the other of mozzarella sticks and chips, himself having the remaining one, a cheeseburger with salad.

“Oh i’m uh- not very hungry today.” Crowley explained, as if to answer the question that hadn’t even been asked, “You know... diet?”

“That’s quite alright dear, you can always have some of mine if you decide you’re feeling pekish.”

Five wondered how he could handle both meals in one sitting, his own portion seemed too large for himself, nevermind _two_.

“So,” Crowley began, “from what I could see in town, and on the news, you’ve not been reported missing.” He moved to lean back in his chair, stretching his arm out to lean on the back of the empty one at his side, “And now that you’re feeing better, we should probably ask, who are your parents? I need to know so I can get you home safely.”

Five took his meal in his hand, biting into the burger, “Doesn’t matter,” he mumbled, “dad’s dead, Mom’s a robot. Neither can help.” He stated bluntly before swallowing.

Aziraphale and Crowley shared a look of confusion, “Is there anyone who _can?_ ” he tried again, both ignored the angel’s whisper of “His mother’s a robot?”

“No, nobody knows where I am. I didn’t until this morning.”

“So then... where do you live?” Aziraphale questioned, “We can at least get you there, wait outside with you until whoever you live with comes home?”

“I come from America,” he stated, taking another bite of his burger, he could see why the angel had recommended it to him, “I _live_ in America. I woke up here.”

Both men looked horrified at the realisation.

“You mean to tell me you got kidnapped and taken all the way over here?” The demon shook his head in disbelief, “What?”

“Not exactly. I was poisoned, people attacked me, I fled-”

“How can you just- run to another country?”

“I didn’t,” he groaned, “listen, the answer to me getting home is in that briefcase...” he trailed off, suddenly remembering, his eyes widened. “Do you have it?”

Crowley held his gaze for a while, before standing up and grabbing the keys to his bentley. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

He strode outside, turning the street corner towards his beloved car. The trunk had been opened...

The briefcase was gone, a small, blinking light had been left in its place. He grabbed it before closing the trunk.

 _Shit,_ he cursed, _Shitshitshit_

He rushed into the house, slamming the door behind him, much to the angel’s fright.

“Somebody broke into my car!” He hissed, “Whoever it was has taken your briefcase with them. I found this, though.” He held up the green object he had found.

He noticed the colour drain from the boy’s face, who pushed himself up and out of his chair, striding towards him quickly. Aziraphale stood and attempted to grasp his shoulders to calm him down, thinking the boy was going to do himself more damage.

He grabbed the object out of the demon’s hand, inspecting it, before dropping it and crushing it under his foot.

“Shit.” Five muttered, “Already?”

“...already what?” Crowley muttered to him, before he knew it, fibe had made his way over to the open kitchen.

“We need to leave, yesterday.” He muttered, grabbing something from the counter.

Aziraphale tapped a hand on his chin, grasping onto the demon’s forearm arm, “Why..what do you mean?”

“It doesn’t _matter_ why, let’s go!” He half-jogged, pushing past them, hesitating at the door.

He could see movement behind the glass.

“Get down!” He yelled. Before any of them had time to react, a barrage of bullets shattered the windows, all three dropped to the ground in panic.

“KID, WHAT-“ Crowley yelped, wrapping his arm around the top half of Aziraphale’s body. He began to lead the man behind one of the kitchen counters to take cover. The angel extended a hand in an attempt to help the boy, Five allowed himself to be led to safety.

Together they crouched, until the sounds halted abruptly. It was then that Aziraphale noticed that Five was holding a knife.

“Fiv-“

“Shh...” the boy placed a finger over his mouth, the pale man obliged. The sounds of footsteps could be heard as the front door was opened.

“Come on out, Five.” A familiar voice rang out, “You really can’t hide there forever. Do you really need to make our jobs harder? We’ll just keep coming back.”

He could hear the movement getting closer, halting just behind their hiding spot. He knew it wouldn’t have fooled them.

He sighed, signalled both of the men to stay down and stay quiet, before standing up and leaning on the counter.

“I knew I recognised that face from last night.” He scoffed, “Nice to meet you, Sherpa.”

He found the face of a middle aged woman staring back at him.

“The pleasure is all mine,” she began, “you’re quite the legend.”

“Well thanks. Heard a few things about you around the office.” He said walking out from behind the counter to come face to face with her, “ Ieu Koeus, 1950s Cambodia. Some fine work.” She smiled at him, smug with pride.

Aziraphale and Crowley watched him, confused and extremely worried. The angel could swear his heart had never raced so hard in his 6000 years on earth...

And as much as Crowley wouldn’t like to admit it, neither had his. He could feel the angel clinging to his arm, all he could do was caress the hand that was wrapped around his forearm.

“So why now?” Five asked, “What’s so important that you terminate me now?”

“Oh we weren’t going to terminate you.” She explained, “I have a business proposal.”

Five scoffed at her words, “A _business_ proposal? The last time I checked I wouldn’t poison-“

“I had the antidote.” She interrupted, “You were the one that decided to killy backup... and you made me lose my favourite hat, not to mention the mountain of paperwork I had to do for that briefcase replacement.”

“They’re dead because you _poisoned_ me, what did you _think_ I was going to do! Sit there and be a good boy? In case you hadn’t noticed, the human body has something called a fight-or-flight reflex. And when mine, a professional hitman’s, kicks in, you’re in for a _lot_ of trouble.”

She frowned at him. “It was for our own safety. Had you said no to our proposal, you would have died soon enough. One more loose end, tied up just like that.”

Five shifted on his feet, glancing down at the two bewildered men before returning his gaze to her.

“Go on then.” He beckoned, “What?”

“Our mutual friend has given me a contract, I need a man who can slip through some of the highest security systems in America while I go about my own work over here in London, we need to access some of their more sensitive data. That’s all I am willing to disclose until we’ve come to an agree-“

“No.”

“No?” She asked incredulously.

“First of all,” Five growled, “I don’t take kindly to being poisoned and shot at, and second...” he took a step closer, “I want nothing more to do with your damn Commission.... thank you, though. Now I can piece together exactly what you’re up to.” He smirked.

The woman let out a frustrated sigh, “The hard way it is then. It’s a shame, you could have saved me some time.” She motioned to the gunmen, “Fire at will.”

Time moved in slow motion for Crowley, one moment he was lunging for the boy as the sound of bullets echoed accross the room, the next, the boy had disappeared before him in a shimmer of blue light. He stumbled, getting hit in the shoulder by a stray bullet, causing him to hiss.

Aziraphale was at his side, pale and shaking, visibly scared.

“What?” He blinked, **”What?!”**

 **“Crowley!”**  
“I’m fine, a-angel...” he stuttered out, grasping his new wound, “J-just... What?! How did-“ before he could finish that sentence, the boy appeared behind one of the soldiers that had been taking aim at both the men, lodging the knife into his neck before disappearing once more.

“How-?” Aziraphale began, before the shooting continued.

“BACK BEHIND THE COUNTER, NOW!” Crowley screamed, shoving the man and scrambling back to safety. Both found themselves peaking out at the carnage unfolding in the room.

Five managed to push one of the gunmen’s arms to the side, causing him to shoot his co-worker, before he brought a bottle of wine down on top of his head.

”I should be very cross if we end up discorperating!” Aziraphale yelled over the sounds, “I’m not sure heaven would let me come back!”

They watched as Five teleported to another man, stealing his holstered pistol before lodging a bullet into his head. He continued his killing spree, jumping from the back of the final gunman and onto the ground, he heard a click sound behind him.

He froze.

“You know, it really is a shame that you turned down my offer...” she pouted, “so much skill, all going to waste. I’m just glad that i’m the one they chose to take you ou-“

A thunk, a heavy thud, she crumpled to the floor. Five panted, drenched in blood and sweat, he turned to look behind himself.

He was met with the eyes of a panic-ridden Aziraphale, who was clutching at a frying pan, a faint smear of blood dripping from it.

“I-i’m not sorry!” He half-shouted at the unconscious woman, “That’s for hurting C-Crowley!”

The demon stumbled to join the two, just as bewildered.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Work. They seem to keep forgetting that I’m retired.” Five answered calmly, steadily aiming his gun at the back of Sherp’s head. “They’ll be back, you two should run.”

“No-!” Aziraphale plunged forward, wresting the gun from the boy’s hand and tossing it aside. “No, just... no!”

“What happened-?” Crowley growled.

“You wouldn’t understand even if I were to explain-“

“Try me.”

The boy looked up at him, then to his injury. Their lives would surely be turned upside down now...

He nodded slowly, a sad frown coming to his features.

The least he could do was explain.

———————————————

Diego and Klaus were the last to arrive at the diner. They were greeted with the sirens and lights, and three very converned siblings.

“-sure it was Five?” He could hear Vanya ask Luther.

“Hey.” He greeted, “Still no sign of the little tyke?” He asked them, he was met with a resounding ‘no’.

“Come on, let’s check this out.”

The officers on the scene recognised Diego immediately, he pushed past them. They didn’t bother trying to stop him.

They made their way into the building, blood was smeared on the walls and floor, a few bodies remained, currently in the process of being bagged up and taken for autopsy. Diego and Lither approached one of them.

“Efficient.” Luther mumbled, “Clean cut.”

“Yeah.. definitely Five’s handiwork.” Diego muttered. “At least we know he was here.”

They could hear Klaus chuckle from across the room.

“Wow he must have left in a hurry!” He laughed, “Barely even touched his coffee!”

The four siblings approached him.

“Ever seen him leave a full cup of this stuff?”

“Doesn’t matter, Five could be in serious danger. I doubt he’d have stopped to finish his coffee.”

“Where do we even... begin to find a time-travelling 13 year old?”

“60 year old-“ Klaus corrected. Earning another glare from his siblings.

“Yeah- thanks, Klaus.” She sighed.

“Look around at the evidence.” Luther instructed, “See if we can find any leads.”

The siblings searched around the numbered cards that were scattered around the room, marked items of interest.

Shell casings, broken shards of glass, scattered cutlery. Luther began to inspect a bowler hat.

“Lock & Co” he mumbled.

“What was that, Luther?” Allison questioned.

“The hat, it’s from Lock & Co. dad wore the same brand.” He explained, “I always liked his top hat, apparently they’re a hat makers based in London..”

“That doesn’t really tell us much though.” She sighed, “Even if we could run DNA, I doubt those Commission people would even show up on the database.”

“Yeah...” he agreed in a nod, “Let’s hold on to it anyway. We can always plan to return it.” He smirked at her.

Klaus had been gazing around the room. Focusing his efforts. Ben stood at his side.

“You’re trying to conjure them? Are you sure you’re sober eno-“

“Shh!” Klaus hushed him, before he rolled his arms back, closing his eyes again, “I need to focus.”

His other siblings seemed to catch on, ceasing any talking or noises they had been making.

“Okay okay okay... focus” he whispered to himself.

It was faint at first, but he could hear a man talking from somewhere across the room. He opened his eyes.

One of the gunmen was standing there, at his own corpse, mumbling and curning.

“Hello.” Klaus offered, gaining the man’s attention, “What’s your name?”

“Lancer.” Replied the gruff voice.

“Lancer? That’s a strange name.” He shrugged. His siblings were gathered, listening to him closely.

“It’s my code name... or was, I cant- I don’t remember my _name_ ”

“Can you tell me what happened?” He asked the gunman.

“A former agent. We poisoned him, he killed us,” he gestured to the other bodies that lay on the ground, “Killed me first. I was able to see the end of the fight.”

“Can you tell me where he went? Pretty please.”

“He stole something, a briefcase. I don’t know where he is now.” He admitted, “Probably dead, that poison was strong stuff, and he didn’t manage to get the antidote.”

“Alright...” Klaus nodded, “Thank you.” Soon the man disappeared, he liked to think he’d moved on.

“Well?” Luther pressed.

“One of the gunmen, he saw Five. Said they’d poisoned him,” “Diego glanced to the coffee as Klaus continued, “He managed to grab hold of one of those briefcase-thingys. Left without taking the antiodte... he said-“ Klaus swallowed, “He said it’s unlikely he survived without it.”

“Shit...” Luther murmered, “If there was a chance- even a chance- that has to mean something right?”

“Did he say where he could have gone? Like where or.. when?” Vanya inquired, Klaus shook his head, “No.. he had no idea where it would have taken him.”

“Of course.” Diego groaned, “Always a mystery. How does he expect us to find him if he refuses to carry a phone on him? I vote we just go home and wait.”

Luther took a step towards him, “No, Diego. If he’s hurt, we need to get to him as soon as possible.”

“Yes but where do we even _begin_ to look for him? Our only lead just confirmed that he could be _anywhere_ , past, present or future! In any place. I say we get home so we can actually _be_ there to help him. He knows where to find us.”

“I’m with Diego on this one-“ Allison stated, Klaus cut her off with a snort, “That’s a first!” He chuckled, earning a glare from his sister.

“What? It is!”

“Well if you guys dont want to keep looking, i’ll do it. Even if he’s not here, I can’t just sit and do nothing.”

Diego waved him off, turning heel to walk towards their father’s old car, “Yeah, well good luck brother.” He offered, “maybe you can do him some good.”

And soon, Luther stood alone.


	7. Hunt for the Bugbear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley, Aziraphale and Five fravel to a lovely rural townstead.

“That should do it.” Five proclaimed, standing in front of the unconscious woman that himself and Aziraphale had duct taped to one of the dining chairs. 

Aziraphale felt faint, so much death sureounded him, and the child in front of him had been the one to cause all of that. And Crowley- Crowley had been hurt during the chaos!

Crowley currently sat on the counter they had previously hidden behind, holding his shoulder. He’d refused Fives help until he would probvide a proper explanation. As far as he was concerned, the boy had been a disguised demon.

Aziraphale rushed back over to the sitting demon, who allowed him to see the damage that had been done. Nothing too horrendous, the bullet remained lodged within, but it had missed any bone.

“Come with me Crowley, we’ll get sorted in the bathroom.” Aziraphale stated quickly, they needed to get out of the boy’s sight.

“Alright then, angel.” Crowley agreed, “And you!” He clicked his fingers at the boy, gaining his attention, “Don’t follow us in there, I don’t know if I trust you yet.”

Five groaned, “I told you, I will explain it all but we _need to get out of here_ before the police arrive.”

The two were already rushing towards the bathroom, “We’ll only be a moment!” Aziraphale exclaimed, ushering Crowley into the room and closing the door behind himself.

Crowley began taking his leather jacket and shirt off Aziraphale wasn’t sure whatbto do with his eyes. It fet so... intimate. He found himself repressing a blush.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, he began. “Ok, ok... Crowley, you use one of your miracles to delay any police currently en-route, I’ll use one of mine to get that bullet out of you. I shall do my best to ptch you up.”

The demon nodded, clicking his fingers, “That should buy us some time.” He smirked.

“Right then, here we go...” Aziraphale held out his hand, before similarly clicking his fingers. The bullet appeared in his open palm.

He tensed up, “How... are you feeling dear?” He muttered, taking out some bandages and cringing at the sound the man made.

Between the bullet, the death that had taken place before them and the suspicion he currently held about the boy, he could only really say one thing.

“Oh just fine, yeah.” He said, blasé. “You don’t reckon that... I was wrong, do you?” He began, earning a quick glance from the angel, who was wrapping some gauze around the wound.

“Whatever do you mean, dear?” He questioned before returning his gaze to his task.

“That he’s... that he might be one of _ours_.” He gestured to himself. “What if it’s one big disguise! I mean, you saw that- that _thing_ he did too. With the blue and the-“

“Yes.” Aziraphale nodded, finishing up and allowing Crowley to put his clothes back on. “But wouldn’t you have- I mean, you can sense it... right?”

Crowley stood up, lost in thought, “That’s just the thing! I could, I-I can! Maybe our time together...” he took Aziraphale’s hand, helping him to stand up, “...has changed me more than I had even realised, angel.”

Aziraphale could hear his own heart pounding, they stayed like that just a moment too long, yet part of him found that he wanted to remain that way a little longer, and part of him hoped that Crowley would feel the same way.

They were interrupted by a swift knock at their door. “Guys!” They heard Five call, “Are you done, we really have to go!”

Crowley grumbled, letting go of the angel’s hand, he stomped out, Aziraphale close behind.

“Something isn’t right.” Five began, “The police haven’t arrived yet, I hear no sirens.”

“Oh I wouldn’t worry about them,” Crowley shrugged, “Let’s take advantage of the moment and just get out of here alright?”

Five nodded, they found themselves running towards the bentley. It was then that they began to hear the sirens. As soon as everyone was seated, Crowley floored it, speeding away from the crime scene as quickly as he could.

“Get us somewhere remote. I’ll explain everything when we’re stopped.”

Crowley knew exactly where to go.

———————————————

An hour away from the city, the bentley stopped on a small dirt path beside a long, geeen field. It was dark out now.

“Alright then _Five,_ ” he spat, wedging himself out of the car, “If that is your name, please, enlighten us. Who were these people? And what do you want with us?”

Five scoffed, “What do _I_ want with _you?_ ” he let out a small chuckle, “I want to get home to my _family. YOU_ ” he stuck his finger on the demon’s chest, “are just a means to an end.”

Aziraphale looked offended, “At least your husband is more bearable to be around.”

“Well thank you very- No! No I am supposed to be very cross with you right now!” He stood forward, “Now I don’t know if you are who you say you are, or _what_ happened back there, but you will tell us and you will tell us now.... please!”

Crowley couldn’t contain his smile at the angel’s forwardness. Moments like this were rare, and he absolutely adored it.

“Calm down.” Five stated, before sighing. “My full name is Five Hargreeves. Formerly, a member of the Umbrella academy.”

At Aziraphale’s and Crowley’s confused glances, he found himself surprised. “You’ve... never heard of the Umbrella academy?” They shook their heads.

“Right...” he thought to himself, “It was a ‘project’ the old man set up. He bought 7 children with special abilities, and trained them to hone their abilities to be used in a threat to public safety. Say, a bank robbery or in the event of an active shooter.”

Aziraphale and Crowley stood confused, he hesitated to allow it to sink in.

“That’s... that sounds fake, It just sounds- It’s mad!” The demon began. “You’re telling me you have, what, super powers or something?”

Five nodded, “My abilities include spacial jumping and time travel. I can only travel so far though.” He demonstrated by jumping behind them, Crowley stared in awe at the blue light.

“That’s...”

“Wow..” Aziraphale mumbled, “so...?”

“The old man never named us, and I disappeared before mom named my brothers and sisters, that’s why i’m called Five.”

“Wouldn’t you want to change that? Oh, I could name you if you want!” Aziraphale clasped his hands together, sulking at the boy shaking his head.

“I’m not really interested, i’ve been using it for over 60 years, why stop now?”

“Yeah about that.” Crowley leaned down to his level, “You _look_ thirteen, how are-“

“I got some calculations wrong. When I was 13, I ran away. Tested my time jump.” He sighed, “I ended up in a post-apocalyptic 2019.”

He noticed the way the demon and the angel flinched at the mention, “I... ended up surviving there for 40 years before a time corrections orginisation known as ‘The Commission’ appeared to me... offered me a contract...” he found himself pacing.

“You didn’t try to time travel back?” Crowley asked quizzically.

“Oh sure, didnt think of that. Of course! I tried for years, I just had to figure out the equations! Time travel is complicated. The commission wanted 5 years of service in exchange for the rest of my life in whichever year I wanted.”

“So you..” Crowley began to wrap his head around it all, “You took this contract, and chose to come back here?” Five rolled his head.

“Sort of... I took the contract. I spent the next few years becoming a professional assassin, they turned me into a killer. My job was just to point a gun and shoot at whoever they told me to.”

Aziraphale recoiled, _how many innocent-_

“Well... I broke that contract when I finally worked out the equation, managed to get back to exactly one week before the apocalypse was to happen. I missed something which is how...” he gestured to his body, “So thats it.” He smirked to the dumbfounded men.

“I really don’t know how much of this to believe.” Crowley sighed, placing his head in his hands.

“It’s a bit of a culture shock, I can’t believe you’ve never heard of the Umbrella Academy.... speaking of, my uniform-“ he cursed, he was going to be stupid pyjamas for the foreseeable future.

“Don’t worry!” Aziraphale called, trudging back to the car, using one more cheeky miracle to have them transported to his arms, “I brought it!”

It was Five’s turn to raise an eyebrow, “You just... had them in there then?”

Aziraphale’s smile wavered, “Yes?” He mumbled out, “Crowley had it cleaned and pressed while you were sleeping...?” It cane out as a half question.

Crowley nodded weakly. “Yeah yeah, I did. Blimey... a kid with superpowers..”

“I’m not a ki-“ Five began,

“Oh alright you know what i mean, besides!” It was Crowley’s turn to press his finger into the boy’s chest, “You’re still a _kid_ to me.”

Five grumbled, grabbing the clothes from Aziraphale, “I’ll be a moment.”  
He jumped away from both men, presumably behind a tree.

“That was certainly...” 

“Bullshit.” Crowley stated, deadpan.

“Crowley don’t say that! I feel like he wasn’t lying...” the demon scowled at him.

“There was at least some truth to it, the powers-“

“At least he’s not a demon.”

Aziraphale found himself nodding faintly, “Yes, good... one less thing to worry about.”

The boy jumped back to their sides, patting his blazer down. The umbrella logo in full view of the demon, who stared at it quizzically.

“We need to find the briefcase. _her_ briefcase. It’s what they use as transport and to time travel. It can take me home.” Five stated. “I wouldn’t know where to start, it’s unlikely she left it in London.”

Aziraphale tapped his chin lightly, Crowley fiddled with his pockets.

“Hmm.. I think I know a girl that can help us!” The angel exclaimed, earning an ‘Aha’ from Crowley.

“Hop in angel, you too kiddo! Let’s go see a witch about a spell.”

———————————————

Anathema had awoken earlier than usual, around 11am... she knew her habits had gotten worse in recent years. She had her fiancé to thank for that.

Newton Pulsifer snored loudly beside her, mouth agape and drooling. She wondered why she found that cute again? She shook him gently, causing a loud snort as he opened his eyes.

“Newt.” She started, “It’s morning, let’s enjoy the day.”

They both began a walk around the small village of Tadfield. The day was bright, and green, and blooming with colourful flowers. Anathema had grown to adore her home.

They watched as the ‘them’ traversed a nearby field, sticks in hand, likely re-creating an epic battle surrounding the legends of King Arthur. They waved at the couple happily before running over to speak.

“Anathema! Newton!” Adam greeted them, “have you got any new monsters for us to hunt today?”

Anathema leaned down? “I have one for you! But be careful, it only wants to scare children!” She laughed.

“I’m not frightened.” The young girl, Pepper, spoke.

“Well I am,” Wensleydale spoke, “last time we went looking for a monster it attacked me!”

“That wasn’t a monster,” Brian spoke, “that was a frog, and Adam got rid of it for you!”

Wensleydale pouted when the others laughed, “Well it _was_ scary.”

“So what’s today’s monster, witch!” Adam smiled, causing the woman to shake her head in amusement.

“It’s called the bugbear.” She whispered to them, “it’s similar to a hobgoblin, but it’s very hairy, and has the face of a bear, they hide in the woods!” She pointed, “be very careful when you look for him, and if you find him, take a picture for me will you?”

The children nodded enthusiastically at her before they took off, running into the forest.

“How many weeks in a row has that been?” Newton asked her, placing a kiss to her temple.

“Too many to count.” She laughed, “I’m running out of creatures.”

They continued down their path, looking to enjoy the scenery, deeper and deeper into rhe countryside.

It wasn’t until around thirty minutes later that the bentley arrived in town. Crowley shook Aziraphale awake, who shook the boy awake.

“We’re here.” Crowley spoke, “They’ll be out on a walk no doubt. Aziraphale check the fields, i’ll try the centre of town. Five, you try the woodlands. Oh, and if you see a group of children, tell them tha-“ he heard an unusual sound, Aziraphale found himself doing a double take.

“He teleported away!” Aziraphale cried, “I forgot he could do that!”

Crowley allowed his head to fall on his car wheel with a sigh... this was going to be fun.

———————————————

Five landed before the woodlands, gazing at a small path etched into the grass. Well used.

Traversing inside, he felt uneasy. He could sense smoke filling his airways, and before he knew it...

The apocalypse had been cruel, he felt the loneliness and fear hit him once more, as though he’d been punched in the stomach.

He gasped, walking along the remnants of buildings, the scattered bodies of unknown people. Not even Dolores was there to comfort him.

He felt the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, a scream at the edge of his throat...

When a hand found itself resting on his shoulder. He reeled himself out of the nightmare and back into the forest. He found a boy around his bodies-age staring back at him.

“I asked if you were alright?” He spoke. Five took a shaky breath before nodding. Earning a smile. “I’m Adam!” He introduced himself, “and this is Pepper, Wensleydale and Brian.”

He gestured to a gorl and two boys, one sporting glasses, who waved at him curiously.

“Who are you?” Adam asked him.

“Five.” He stated. “I’m looking for a woman, have you seen her? I think her name was Anathema.”

“The witch!” Adam smiled, “Yeah I do! She’s out right now, we can take you to her if...”

“What?”

“If _you_ help us find a bugbear.”

“A... bugbear?” He questioned, earning a nod from the boy with the glasses.

“The witch told us about the bugbear, she said it was half hobgoblin, half bear-“

“And completely fictional.” Pepper sighed, rolling her eyes, “They’re nothing more than folklore made up to scare children into behaving.”

“You’re no fun, Pepper.” Brian quipped back, causing her to stick her tongue out at him.

“Look, I don’t really have time. I really need her help with something.”

Adam seemed to think for a moment, “Oh alright, but can you tell us about it on the way?”

“Uh, sure.” Five stated. The five of them began to walk towards the forest exit.

“So what do you need a witch for?” questioned Wensleydale. They found themselves entering a field, following a long path.

“I’m trying to get home to my family. I was... taken very far away from them.” he scoffed, trying to word it in a way the children would understand. He could hear the youth in his own voice as he spoke.

“What do you mean taken?” Adam inquired.

“Some bad people used ‘magic’ and brought me here from America. I need to find my way back.”

“Magic?” Adam asked, “That’s so cool! You know people with super powers?”

“Of course he doesn’t.” Pepper pouted, “He probably jus-“

“My brothers and sisters have super powers.” He stated, interrupting the girl. As ironic as it was, he always disliked a know-it-all.

“They do?” The three boys asked excitedly. Five nodded.

“There’s Luther who has super strength, and Diego who can move objects by using the air around them to push them, my other brother Klaus-” he began.

“And your sister?” Pepper asked, eyebrow raised. 

“My sister Allison can make anyone do what she wants by saying some magic words, and my other sister Vanya can manipulate sound and turn it into a weapon.”

“That’s so cool!” Brian exclaimed, “What does the other guy do?”

“Klaus, he-“

“Five!” He heard Aziraphale exclaim from further down the pathway, followed by Anathema and Newton. “I’ve explained everything to them! Have you seen Crowley? I see you found the children!”

Crowley came bounding over towards the group, “Right here, angel!” The ‘them’ greeted Both the men happily as they cane to stand with them.

“Hi,” the woman introduced herself to Five, “My name’s Anathema, this is my fiancé, Newton.”

“Hi, yes, lovely to meet you!” He waved to the boy, “Is it true that you-“

“Newt!” She exclaimed, slapping his arm slightly, “Don’t be rude. But if it is true I should love to see it.”

Five felt like some form of sideshow attraction, but he relented, and jumped to a nearby lamp post.

“Oh wow!” She exclaimed. He found himself suddenly swarmed by the ‘them’.

“You didn’t tell us you had powers too!” Adam exclaimed. “And you still havent mention what your other brother does!”

“Oh he- he can see dead people.” Five explained, “He can talk to them, and he can sometimes make them appear. He talks to my brother Ben sometimes.”

“You have a dead brother?” He asked sadly, “do you have a picture of him?”

Five shook his head, “Not on me, no, but I can use one of those smartphone things to find one probably.” To his surprise, Newton pulled out a very well worn phone that had clearly seen better days.

“Here,” he offered, “I’m rubbish with technology... things though. So it’s best if you search it up.”

Five took the phone, he managed to find an old newspaper article that had reported the death. “That’s Ben, my brother. He’s the only ghost that Klaus has let himself see for a long time.”

“Well,” said Adam, “that’s not right... he shouldn’t be able to just be seen by one brother.”

Adam focused intently on the image of Ben, Five noticed the wind begin to pick up. It wasn’t long before the rustling of leaves ended, and Adam let out a smile.

“I can’t wait to meet him!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there was no upload yesterday, I had some things to do. I made this chapter slightly longer to compensate:)


	8. The Lost and the Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anathema teaches Five a spell

“So you’re looking for a briefcase?”

Anathema had brought them into her house, making some tea for her guests. Five wasn’t particularly fond of it, but he accepted the cup regardless.

The ‘them’ had insisted that he sit with them. They’d found themselves rather enamoured with the boy, and he was rather sure he’d already been adopted as a new member in their eyes.

He can’t stay, and he doesn’t particularly have any interest in their games, but had he have met them in his youth he would have enjoyed the little team they’d set up.

If only dad hadn’t held them all back.

“Yes,” he responded, taking a sip of the tea, “It’s the key to getting me back home. It’s urgent i get there as soon as possible.”

Anathema was fumbling through some shelves, humming in response.

“If only Agnis had covered what was going to happen _after_ the events of the apocalypse.. would have saved us all a spot of bother.” Aziraphale wondered out loud, earning a strange glance from Five. Nobody except Newt noticed the blush appearing on his fiancée’s face.

“Aha!” She exclaimed, pulling out one of the ancient-looking books. “Aziraphale gave me this as a gift from his book shop, It’s an ancient wiccan spell book, it works wonders!”

“You own a book shop?” Five questioned, Aziraphale confirmed chirpily, “It’s my pride and joy! Over 200 years old and filled to the brim with some of the oldest and finest books known to man! You should really pop round for a visit sometime.”

“Nice. I look forward to it.” Five smiled, Anathema came to sit on a stool just next to the boy, she flipped the book open at a page that had been bookmarked.

“I’ve been using this spell a lot recently,” she admitted, “Newt keeps on losing his socks an-“

“Yeah alright!” The man exclaimed, “no need to go airing our dirty laundry to everyone.” He blushed, the ’Them’ found themselves laughing at the exchange, along with the accidental joke that followed.

“Alright, so. I’ll give you this,” she handed Five a chain, on the end was attached an uncut stone of amber, “you must go to the last place that the briefcase was seen, and twirl in a clockwise circle whilst chanting a little rhyme about it-“

“The amount of times i’ve had to say ‘Sock, sock, where can you be, the house is cold, and so are my feet’ is absolutely criminal...” Newt huffed, the children threw into a fit of laughter, and Crowley could barely stop himself either.

Aziraphale politely stifled a giggle, balancing himself with the demons arm. The man really had some terrible timing.

“-yes thank you Newt,” Anathema scoffed, “You’ll have to make it up yourself, rhyme it with home. I’ve already combined the necessary incantations needed to enchant the amber, make sure it doesn’t sway before you start the incantation. If this works, it will point you in the right direction.” She smiled.

Five never was one to believe in this sort of thing, but it’s surely worrh trying, after all, he’s all out of options...

“Thank you.” He shot her a smile, before standing and leaving with the angel and the demon. The others were quick to follow them out.

“I’ll try it in front of the bentley, you last saw it in the trunk. I hope this works..” he muttered to Crowley.

“I don’t understand what you can rhyme with ‘briefcase’” he muttered back, “it’s a bit mental if you ask me.”

“Between you and me, i’m not the best poet.”

Five stepped in front of the trunk of the bentley, he twirled once in a clockwise motion.

“Home is where I want to be...” he squinted his eyes, thinking on the spot. God, how he hated poems.

“The briefcase is all that can do this for me,  
I have family that I need to attend,  
And if i’m not quick enough the world just might end.” He deadpenned, he felt like a child...

The amber he held didn’t move an inch.

“Perhaps it’s because you never saw it there...” Aziraphale wondered, “I was the last one to see it out of us, and I put it in there, maybe I should give it a go?”

Five nodded, handing the amber to the angel, but before he could speak, he found himself interrupted.

“Oh good!” Adam explained, “I was wondering when he would get here!”

Everyone spun around to view what the boy had been pointing at, Five could feel his own heart stand still.

“...Ben?”

———————————————

40 minutes beforehand, Klaus had been arguing with Ben, who had been pressuring his Klaus to get back to searching for their brother, when-

“What the-“ Diego heard Klaus exclaim from the sitting room.

“What?” He inquired, rolling his eyes as he returned another one of the knives he’d been playing with to it’s sheath.

“Ben just... disappeared?” Klaus said, perplexed. A frown came to his lips.

“He’s a ghost, Klaus, he prob-“

“No no, he’s never just... up and disappeared like that before. Not in the middle of a conversation-“

“He’s probably as sick of you talking as I am” Diego shot a sarcastic smile in Klaus’s direction, before trudging off upstairs.

“...Well now I know who i’m taking off the Christmas card list...”

———————————————

It was bright and white, he found it hard to open his eyes...

 _What is this? Am I in heaven? Did I move on...?_ He wondered, he ran his fingers through what felt like grass. Groaning, he rolled on his side...

Green, bright and beautiful, and right in front of his face.

He shot upright.

Ben found himself in the middle of a large, green field. 

How was this possible? This had to be heaven.

“Klaus...” he rasped out, “Klaus?”

Nothing responded but the chirping of birds.

He tried to stand, his legs were shaky... it’d been years since he’s been able to feel them. Was he dreaming? Do ghosts dream?

He looked around himself. Behind him stood some houses at the far end of the grassy plane, a small villiage, unlike any he’d seen. Ben is taken aback by the beauty.

_This has to be heaven..._

He took his first few, genuine steps in years. It began with a stumble, but grew gradually more confident with every stride.

He didn’t feel happy.

He didn’t want to leave his family.

He would miss Vanya, and Allison’s weekly jamming sessions. He loved that violin, and his sister’s singing sounded so sweet.

Luther and Diego, as annoying as they were, their arguing brought an odd comfort to him. Some things never change.

Five and Klaus were always at each others throats, but he loved the moments of affection they had for one another. He could tell that underneath all the bravado, Five loved his siblings, and was proud of them to an extent. He was so worried that Five had been gone for good. And Klaus...

Klaus was all Ben really had for a very long time, he’d miss the antics, the horrible jokes, the snarky attitude. Klaus had a way of making situations lighter... or much, much more annoying.

He reached a rocky path, continuing to follow him. Klaus had mentioned the afterlife being much more... devoid of colour...

 _Perhaps he didn’t get in to the good place?_ Ben smirked.

He was truly alone with his thoughts. He’d thought heaven would be a bit warmer, there was certainly a chill to this pla-

“...Ben?”

His head snapped upright, he’d failed to pay attention to what was in front of himself...

He saw a familiar boy, who kept his hands in his pockets. A uniform, he recognised it immediately. The biy stood beside two men, one bright, one dark, accompanied by a couple and 4 children.

“Five...?” Ben’s heart skipped a beat.

 _Oh No, Nonononono_ he felt himself tearing up, his chest crushed.

_Five was dead too._

“Ben!” The boy exclaimed, as he began to sprint towards him. Ben rushed to the boy, meeting him halfway, before collapsing to his knees and crushing him in a hug.

Neither could stop the tears from falling. Ben cried into Five. It felt amazing to be held, he’d missed hugs.

Five found himself collapsing similarly to Ben. He hated showing strong emotion, but he just couldn’t help it. With a thud, Five joined his brother on the ground, allowing the man to cradle him.

He let out a loud sob, grasping his brother’s hoodie, he buried his face in his chest. To anyone witnessing the exchange, it would be easy to notice just how _small_ Five truly was... he seemed so vulnerable, and young.

“B-Ben..!” Five exclaimed, his voice cracking, “I can’t... You’re here!”

Ben ran a hand down the back of the boy’s hair in an attempt to comfort him.

“What happened to you Five?” Ben mumbled sadly, “Y-you can’t be dead too...”

Five sniffed loudly, finally lifting his gaze. Ben peered into his watery eyes, the boy smirked at him.

“D-dead? I’m... I’m not- you’re alive!” Five exclaimed, sobbing out the last word, he lifted one of the hands from his brother’s hoodie to touch his face, watching Ben’s face light up in realisation.

“I... I am?” He reached up to touch the boy’s hand, finally completely dawning on him, “I am! I’m alive! Oh thank god you’re alright Five!”

The boy swift found himself being crushed once again, lifted off his feet as his brother jumped, laughing, still allowing his tears to fall in relief. After a moment, he let the boy go and they were able to talk.

“I don’t know what I-I would- what I would have done if you’d died... I thought we were in heaven!” He gestured to the landscape around them, the boy laughed similarly.

“No,” he chuckled, wiping his eye, “we’re in England, in a village called Tadfield.”

“How did we get here? I just woke up in a field...?” Ben asked quizzically, earning a shrug from the boy.

“Well I know how _I_ got here but... not you?”

“I did that.” They heard a voice say to their side. Neither had noticed the grop of children had approached.

Adam held out his hand, “Five was telling us about you! I wanted to meet you.” He smiled, “It’s really good to see you, Ben.”

Ben hesitatingly shook the hand back, “You too...”

“Adam,” He stated. “Anyway Five, we’ll see you soon I hope! We’re going to go back to hunting down our Bugbear-“

“If it exists.” Pepper interrupted, causing Wensleydale to shush her.

“Goodbye!” Adam waved, and before long? The ‘Them’ had ran back towards the forest.

This entire day, Five wondered, was a complete mystery. He felt Ben grasp his hand, holding it tightly.

Five decided in that moment that Ben was the only one who he’d ever accept this sort of comfort from. They had been close as children, similarly with Vanya. The three of them were the best of friends.

How he missed his brother..

He’d been heartbroken when he learned Ben had died, it was a constant fear that he’d never grown up..

But seeing Ben like this, Five realised that Ben _had_ grown up, and he looked wonderful, and he _was_ wonderful.

Five found himself huffing out another laugh before wiping another tear, “At least I’m not alone anymore.” He said, “I really don’t know what’s going on.”

“Me neither.” Ben shrugged, that same smile over his face, “but now we can figure it all out together.”

———————————————

Crowley could feel his frown deepen as he watched the display in front of him.

His initial confusion was replaced with something heavier, he felt his heart shatter instantly.

He didn’t know what their connection was, but the boy definitely knew that man... and had collapsed in front of him in a fit of tears. He heard the heart wrenching sobs the pair let out.

An emotion he hadn’t sensed the boy was capable of, he felt the sadness of the man, and the happiness of the child... it was confusing.

Aziraphale seemed to have the opposite reaction. His hands were clutched together at his chest, his smile bright and wide. He could feel the love radiating off the angel...

It was warm... it was comforting...

And he soon caught on that the angel could feel the guilt radiating off of the demon in a similar way.

“Are you alright, Crowley?” He asked, the demon kept his gaze fixed on the display happening accross the street from them.

“Yeah... I’m alright- it’s just...” he extended his hand, gesturing to Five, “He looks so small, and so, so happy. He’s _crying_ angel, he has emotions. I feel like a bit of an idiot for treating him like some... demon now.”

Aziraphale hummed, placing a hand on the demon’s back, “He’s been through a lot, and he gave as good as he got in terms of rudeness,” Crowley huffed at that comment.

“Whoever it is that he’s found,” the angel continued, “I feel as though a lot of his stress has been lifted.”

Aziraphale smiled, shifting a hand to grasp the demon’s own hand, gaining his attention. 

Crowley turned to face Aziraphale, who paused, before he muttered, “He will be alright now.” 

Both turned once more. The weight of sadness left the man, a similar, bright happiness replacing the sorrow. The pair watched as the man picked up the boy, laughter ringing out from them both,

“We’ll make sure of it.”


	9. A Leap of Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale performs the finding spell.

The pair watched as the man and Five walked back over to them, hand in hand. Their faces red, eyes watery. It had been an emotional reunion.

“Ben,” Five spoke, clearing his throat a little, “This is Aziraphale and Crowley. They saved my life.”

He had gestured to both men as he spoke, indicating who was who. Ben’s face lit up in appreciation.

“Thank you both for taking care of my brother.” He smiled, the angel seemed rather taken aback.

“Your brother?” He questioned, “You’re him then, you’re the Ben that he told us about! Oh isnt that wonderful Crowley!”

The demon smiled, “It looks like our trip to Tadfield was worth it after all, so tell me Ben, is your brother always such a pain?”

Ben let out a laugh, “Honestly, all of them are, though I’ve not had any direct contact with them for a long time...” he trailed off, before tilting his head, “Exept Klaus, he’s worse than Five, if we’re going by handfuls.”

He laughed again as the smaller of the two elbowed him in the ribs, “Next time i’ll kick you, and you won’t like where.” The boy laughed back.

“Well I am so glad you’ve found each other again!” Aziraphale chirped, “I’ll get this spell done, don’t you worry. You’ll both be home in no time.”

Aziraphale turned to face the trunk, holding the amber in his hand. He could hear the hushed whispers f Five explaining what was happening to Ben. The way the boy described it, it became clearer to see that he didn’t seem to believe in it.

“We have to get our friend get home,  
Or else he’ll be here all alone,  
If we can find our hidden Briefcase,  
Then he can make it home with haste!” Aziraphale spoke loudly, to their surprise, the amber swung on its chain and pointed Northwest, levitating in its chosen direction.

“It’s like a compass..” Five spoke in awe.

“Then let’s get to following it, shall we?” Crowley smirked, their journey would soon be over.

———————————————

It was nightfall once more, a day of searching, no new signs.

Luther realised it was futile.

He wanted to be right for once, he wanted to believe that, just this once, Five had made things simple for them.

Of course he hadn’t. He sulked on his way back to the academy, the exhaustion creeping up on him.

“Luther?” He heard the voice if Vanya ring out from behind him, he sighed, turning his gaze towards her.

“You’re still out here? It’s been hours.” She inquired, he looked like shit. Heavy bags under his eyes, he wasn’t going to achieve much in this state.

“Yeah just, looking for our dearest brother. He can never make anything easy.”

“None of us can, really.” She laughed a little in response, “You should get home, you look like-“

“Shit, I know,” he nodded in agreement, “Where are you going?” He asked.

“Home,” Vanya replied, “I’ve got to get in some practice before the big show, Allison said she’d let me know if there’s any news about Five.”

Luther nodded, “Wherever he is, or whenever he is, he’ll be alright. I’m sure of it.”

They were interrupted ny the sound of their phones, a text from Klaus.,

_’Emrgncy gt home asap’_

Vanya rolled her eyes, “Nevermind then, looks like i’ll be walking home with you.”

———————————————

“-I’m telling you, it’s not right!” They heard Klaus shout from the livingroom. Luther and Vanya entered the house together.

“Woah Luther, you look aweful.” Diego chuckled, “Finally gave up on your wild goose chase?” Diego chuckled, sitting down with a heavy thud.

“Perhaps we can get your insights on something then,” Diego continued, “Klaus thinks that our brother, _the ghost_ , is missing!”

“He _is_!” Klaus exclaimed, “He’s never been gone this long, not without a goodbye! He’d never walk away from an argument, too much of a stubborn prick.”

“Wh- wait a moment.” Vanta interjected, trying to understand, “Ben’s missing?”

“Yes-“

“No-“

Both brothers said at the same time before looking at each other.

“Look- Klaus I just don’t see how it’s even possible.” Diego began, “Maybe there’s an issue with your powers, maybe Ben’s just looking for some peace.”

“But he’s never _done_ this before, my powers are fine, I’m not even high!”

“Allison...?” Luther signalled for his sister to give her input, she brushed some hair from her face, glancing around the room before she decided to give her 2 cents.

“I believe him,” she began, Diego allowed his hands to fall onto his lap in disbelief, “Only Klaus really knows Ben’s routine, he’s been seeing him for years. If Klaus says it’s unsusual then...”

“You know Allison you always were one of my favourites,” Klaus smiled, “those fabulous heels-“

“Which I didn’t give you permission to wear?” She signalled to his feet where klaus had stolen some of her older heeled boots.

“What can I say, I was jealous.” He smiled innocently.

“Ok, let’s say that hypothetically yes, Ben is missing. How would we even _begin_ to track down a missing ghost?”

“I don’t think we can,” Klaus admitted, “but it’s convenient timing right? I mean, two of our dear brothers go missing?”

“I say we all just- get some rest.” Luther sighed, his tiredness catching up on him. He couldn’t even begin to understand what was going on.

“We’ll regroup in the morning. You guys were right, not much we can do. Five is god-knows where and god-knows-when, Ben is invisible to most of us. Let’s just wait and see.” He finished, before turning on his heel, his heavy footsteps traversing the stairs towards his bedroom.

“Well, you heard the big guy,” Diego followed, “bed time, kids.”

———————————————

The Bentley had carried them back to London in a record amount of time, the angel barking out directions as the demon performed a series of sharp turns. Wherever this briefcase was, they’d hidden it well.

Ben, meanwhile, could feel himself turning green.

“Im not hsed to having a stomach yet...” he groaned, a belch leavig his lips.

“You can manage.” Five reassured, “By the looks of it we’re nearly there.”

The amber began to spin in a circle as the quartet bounded down a street, they’d reached their destination.

“That’s us!” Aziraphale chirped, the demon pressed down on the breaks hard.

They were parked outside of a rather luxurious hotel, the amber pointed towards it.

“Let’s get inside and find the room.” Crowley mumbled, the 4 of them found themselves in motion.

Aziraphale and Crowley led the way, entering the lobby and moving towards the elevator.

“Excuse me, sirs.” One of the employee’s began, “You’re going to need a reservation-“

“We’ll only be a moment.” Five smiled smugly to the man, whose face curled downward slightly.

“I’m afraid i’ll have to insist-“ the boy grabbed his lapel and shoved him against the doors, “Listen here, someone in this building stole something _very_ important to me, i’d thank you to walk away rigjt now.” Five growled.

“Secur-“ the man began, before Ben covered his mouth, “Make that mistake again, and you’ll find out just how far your bones can bend.” Five mumbled lowly, Crowley found himself smirking at the exchange.

“It’s really not worth it, mate.” The demon mumbled to him, “I’ve seen him do much worse.”

The employee nodded his head frantically, the Hargreeves brothers let him go. He sprinted out of the room.

“Just on time!” Aziraphale exclaimed as the elevator doors opened, “after you.” He motioned for the others to step indoors.

“The amber is pointing upwards, push the button to the top floor, see which floor it evens out at.”

Crowley obliged, the 7th floor button was pressed. The amulet evened out on the fifth floor, they got back to the level, exploring the hallway.

“Room 513.” He stated, “let’s see of we can’t get it open-“ he was about ti finish, before Five jumped.

“Or we could do it his way.” Ben chuckled, the boy soon jumped back out with the briefcase in hand.

“Let’s get out of here. Someone’s been in that room, recently.” Five stated, taking the briefcase handle in his right hand.

“What makes you say tha-“ Ben was suddenly interrupted by the sound of gunshots, Five grabbed hold of the three of them, and with great difficulty, managed to jump them inside one of the stairwells.

“You can _do that?!_ ” Aziraphale’s head reeled, the boy shushed him.

“We don’t have enough time-“

“I’ll say!” Crowley exclaimed, “We need to leave- Now!”

Heavy footsteps sounded from the bottom floor, rising quickly. Their previous shooters bounded accrossthe other hallway towards them quickly. 

Five made a split second decision.

Setting the briefcase’s location, he locked his arm around Ben’s, leaving that hand free to reach the briefcase latches, before grabbing on to Aziraphale’s and Crowley’s hands.

Without hesitation, he opened it up.

A blue light engulfed them, and suddenly, they found themselves in the middle of a dark, and damaged diner. An abandoned crime scene.

“What in the- where are we _now?_ ” Crowley exclaimed, the frustration not lost on him.

“Home.” Five smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise this chapter isn’t as long as I would have liked, i’ve been a little busy the last two days.
> 
> Expect a larger chapter tomorrow!


	10. Too Friendly with the Bottle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team gets well aquainted with the diner.

“Feeling alright, Five?” Ben prompted.

Five sat at one of the stools behind the diner’s counter, he’d overdone his power. “Yeah, just taking a breather.”

“What made you pick this...” Aziraphale gestured to the bullet holes and dried blood where the bodies once lay, “...place?”

“This is where I was before I met both of you.” He grabbed the cup of coffee, “This is what nearly killed me.”

Crowley stepped forward, taking the cup from the boy’s hands, inspecting it.

“Thing is kid, I’ve never seen anything quite like this poison. It looks as though it’s been chemically manufactured... but it mimics a snake’s venom.”

“You’re a smart man, Crowley.” Five smiled, “Not many men know their poisons.”

“Seems you can’t hold yours either,” the demon quipped back with a laugh, “I’ve... let’s say I have had quite a lot of experience with snakes.”

The boy eyed the man over, grasping the cup once more before standing up and throwing it against a nearby wall, startling the angel who had been eyeing up the treats behind the counter.

“Let’s see about getting back to our house,” Five motioned to his brother, “we’ve a lot to figure out, and the family will be happy to see you again.”

Ben’s smile brightened, “I can’t waita- but I should tell you! Diego took the car.” He pointed outside towards where Five had left Hargreeves’ old car, eliciting a large groan from the young boy.

“Great...” he rolled his eyes, “fantastic, an hours walk with no energy.”

“I wouldn’t mind carrying you again,” Crowley smirked from behind the counter, where he was fixing Aziraphale a plate of pastries and doughnuts, “cute as a button, you were. I think I still have some drool on my jacket from when-“

“No thank you.” Five bit back, growling. He earned a laugh from Ben and Aziraphale.

“Then I suppose we’re here for the night.” The demon widened his smirk to a smile, “I wonder if there’s any good drinks around here, want anything else Aziraphale?”

“Oh yes please, If we can, we should share a nice drink together.”

The demon nodded to the angel, before turning heel and entering the kitchen.

Five joined the angel at the stools once more, his brother not far behind. “I could go for one of those right now.” He admitted, the angel turned to him, a fondness taking over his expression.

“By all means!” He moved his plate to sit between them, Five grabbed a doughnut from the plate. “Want one Ben? It’s a big moment, first timeneating in how many years?”

“Too many.” His brother huffed out, grabbing one of the pastries, biting into it. They could see the enjoyment on the brother’s face.

“It wws terribly kind of Adam, bringing you back.” The angel patted his arm, “We got to witness a most wonderful reunion!”

Ben blinked at him, “What to you mea n he ‘brought me back’?”

Aziraphale hesitated for a moment, “Ah... yes well, you see-“

“Bingo!” They heard a shout from the kitchen, Crowley emerged with a bottle of burboun. “On the house!” He beamed.

———————————————

Both angel and demon looked on at the siblings.

Five and Ben had chosen one of the booths to fall asleep in, the boy resting on the belly of his larger, less intoxicated brother. The taste of burboun had been far too much for Ben, he had one shot.

Five, however, much to Asiraphale’s dismay, had _many_. The angel had tried, and failed, to keep the bottle from reaching the boy, even Crowley had been hesitant to let him drink.

“Well isn’t that cute,” Crowley chuckled, taking another swig of the nearly-finished liquid, “like a sleepy toddler- a very drunk, sleepy toddler.” He slurred, handing the bottle to Aziraphale clumsily.

The angel, similarly, took a large gulp of the liquid, “I’m not- m’ sure I don’t know how we can explain to him that the _antichrist_ just rose his big brother from the dead”

“Biblical, really” the demon giggled, “I don’t think either of them will buy it.”

“No, probably not!” The angel giggled back, he slapped his hand onto the demon’s knee, giving his leg a squeeze.

“What a life we’ve had...” the demon reflected, scooting his stool closer to the angel, “I mean, first I fell from heaven, then I became best friends with the enemy, helped raise a fake antichrist, stood against the most _powerful_ beings in existence and helped stop the apocalypse...”

“It sounds so dreary, really.. but i’ve had a grand time...” the angel smiled, reaching his other arm around and placing it on the demon’s shoulder.

“It... hasn’t been terrible at all...” Crowley admitted, “after all- It led me to you...” he looked at the angel, the way his eyes shined under the lights, his features bright and soft and-

“My dear Crowley...” the angel mumbled, they felt their faces moving closer together. He felt warm, this felt _natural_ , Crowley blushed-

A groan escaped the sleeping child from the booths behind them, they snapped out of their daze immediately.

“Right then! Sober up?” He asked the angel, reeling his head back, repressing a blush.

“Yes- quite.” Both men focused, moving the alcohol from their bodies back into the glass if burboun, afterwards they shook themselves, regaining their senses. They saw Ben’s head rise from behind the booth, pushing the boy off of him as rhe boy suddenly wretched, spilling the contents of his stomach on to the table and floor below.

“Lovely...” Crowley cringed, the angel turned to face the wall, “alright you,” he approached the boy, helping him stand, “let’s get you sorted out-“

“M’ alrigh...” the boy slurred, pushing himself off of the demon, “Don’t nee-“ he stumbled backwards, Ben barely catching his arm.

“If he didn’t have enough strength before, then he definitely won’t for another few hours- lets just carry him home.” Ben sighed, hoisting up his brother, “I get the feeling it’s been some time since he’s seen his bed.”

“I can imagine.” Crowley chuckled, “Alright then, angel grab the briefcase, I’ll grab some treats and we’ll be on our way.”

Ben wrapped the boy around his front, his arms draping over his neck in a hug, he supported the boy’s leg with one hand, holding his back with the other. They didn’t get far in their journey before they could hear some light snoring.

“I can’t help,” the demon chimed up as he sauntered along beside the angel, “but feel some deja vu in this situation.” He remarked, an amused smirk forming. “You with that briefcase, the boy, completely off his mind on some chemicals... and that _snoring_.” He mused, “Im just glad my arms get some rest.”

“Tell me about it,” Ben huffed, “Not held anything for years and suddenly I’m carrying a drunk 13 year old.”

“Yes- about that, you were dead, weren’t you?” Aziraphale piped up, the light tone caught Ben off guard.

“Y-yes, for a while.” He shrugged, “not a fun experience, I wouldn’t recommend it.” He offered a tight-lipped smile.

“How did you die... if you don’t mind me asking?” Aziraphale asked in a half-whisper, the question was certainly delicate.

“I’m guessing Five didn’t explain the academy to you.” Ben shot the angel a glance, “I don’t blame him. It was horrible.”

“The Umbrella Academy?” Crowley asked, the man nodded.

“As the story goes, 43 women gave birth all at once, without having been pregnant before hand. Dad, a billionaire named Reginald Hargreeves, managed buy 7 of us.” Ben began, “We all have powers-“

“What are yours?” Aziraphale asked, fascination laced his voice.

“I can summon a monster through a portal in my chest.” He chuckled at the way the man’s expression changed, “me neither, people used to call me ‘the Horror’, the old man raised us as some sort of mercenaries- or super heroes. He made us go on these ‘missions’.”

“Five explained that much,” Crowley interjected, “I’m guessing thats how...”

“...It was a mistake, yes... I don’t remember much at all. There was a big- mess, then it was pitch black, and suddenly nobody would talk to me at all. They just kept saying my name, and I could hear crying. I know why, now.” He shrugged, “Five disappeared years before all of that, though. I sort of took comfort in knowing he hadn’t seen it, but now I know he saw something worse.”

“Life after the apocalypse, yeah... that must ha-“

“-‘saw every’ns bodies...” Five hiccuped, they had clearly not noticed the snoring had stopped, “m’ Luth’r, Allison, Klaus n’ Diego...” he trailed off, rolling his head to glare at the angel and the demon, “bu-burried the fuckers ‘ne by one.”

Crowley didn’t know how to respond, the words sent another wave of guilt through him. Clearly, Aziraphale felt the same.

“I-I’m sorry... that must have-“ the angel began, before he was interrupted by the boy once again.

“Li-life’s too short... d’nt waste it... ‘m old, y’re young... don’t was’....” he mumbled drowsily, stopping once he’d fallen back asleep. 

The comedic irony wasn’t lost on crowley, he felt himself smile a little, “Certainly shows his age, doesn’t he?”

“Crowley.” Aziraphale stated disapprovingly, earning a chuckle from Ben.

“He’s a tough nut to crack, but I know he likes you two.” The man spoke, earning a look from the demon.

“How do you know that, then?” He inquired.

Ben looked down at the boy in his arms, “He’d have ran away from you both a long time ago. His trust doesn’t come easy.”

They found themselves stopping in front of an old building, Crowley noticed the symbol on the door.

“This is it then?” His question earned a shaky breath from Ben, who nodded.

“Yup.” The man confirmed, “they’ll probably be in bed... or out searching again- I don’t know how to explain...”

Aziraphale placed his hand on his shoulder, shooting a reassuring smile to the man, “I’m positive they’ll be over the moon to see you, now come on, let’s get you in and settled.” He opened the door, motioning the brother to walk inside.

With a sharp inhale, Ben allowed himself to enter, it was the first time he’d roamed the halls in years...

He approached the family couch and began to lay his brother down, he heard a whistle from behind himself.

“Whoo!” Crowley exclaimed, gazing around the room, “Lovely home truly!” His gaze fell on the painting of Five.

“Guess we know who the favourite was, then.”

“Far from it.” Ben retorted, “Dad hated all of us equally. Five just happened to be the first one of us to go, I think it was some sort of reminder...”

Aziraphale planted himself by the bar, Crowley joined him.

“It’s hard to imagine,” Ben began, “the seven of us, here... you know we had these moments, where dad would leave us alone for a while, we’d have time to play...”

He heard footsteps ring out from the staircase, mumbling, he identified it as the ramblings of Klaus.

“-where the fuck did you go? Ben you know I don’t-“ the man reached the bottom of the stairs, entering the room, his eyes connected with the former-ghost.

“Oh fuck- there you are Ben! I’ve been looking all over for you!”

“Klaus-“

“Where did you go? I mean- you can’t just walk out on me like that-“

“Klaus-“

“Scared the shit out of me-“

**”Klaus!”**

The man finally stopped to look at his brother, noticing the boy on the couch.

“Oh- you found Five! Been looking for that little shit for hours!”

“I’m alive, Klaus.”

“Uh- no? Last time i checked, you were dead as-“ klaus approached him, shoving the ghost playfully. He was surprised when the hit connected.

“What the- a-am I high-?!?“

“I’m alive!”

“You’re- you really are! You’re alive!” He grabbed onto Ben, hugging him tightly, jumping up and down.

“How the fuck, wh-why the fuck?”

“I have no idea, I woke up in England with Five and-“

“What’s going on? I heard-” Diego stepped into the room, his knife had at the ready, the brothers heard a large clatter of steel hitting the hardwood floor.

“B-Ben...”

“Diego!” Ben felt his tears emerge once again.

Diego rushed to his side in an instant, brushing his hand against the brother’s cheek, “Ben, oh my god- what?”

He heard a shift from the bar behind him, he pulled out a knife, before being restrained by Ben, “Stop- stop! Diego they’re friends!”

“Wonderful family you have here.” Crowley stated in amusement, “Sorry, we didn’t mean to ruin the reunion.”

“Ben what-“

“Get the others.” He stated, “I’ll explain everything when we’re all together, and...”

He gazed at the boy on the couch, “Perhaps get him some bread or something... he’s...”

“Drunk as a skunk.” Diego chuckled.


	11. Orders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The siblings hold a meeting

“Is it true?!” Allison exclaimed, bursting into the kitchen.

She was met with Ben, Klaus, Aziraphale and Crowley standing beside the main table, Five was sat at the head of the table, holding his forehead in his hand, his other hand grasping a cup of coffee.

“Oh my god it is! Ben!” She ran towards him, hugging him.

“Allison!” He exclaimed returning the hug, he heard her sniffle from his shoulder, “How long has it been?” He mused.

“Too long,” she replied, wiping a tear from her eye, Vanya, Luther and Diego shuffled themselves into the room.

“Ben!” Vanya called, Allison took a step to the side to allow her sister access to the long lost brother.

“Great to see you too, Vanya!” He laughed, “I missed everyone.”

“Missed you too buddy...” Diego tapped his shoulder, he moved to sit at the table.

“You.” Luther’s voice rung out, he approached Five with heavy footsteps, “So first you go out without a warning, which I _told_ you not to do, then you disappear for _four days_ , and suddenly you’re back here with...!” He trailed off, looking at Ben, who waved timidity at him.

“What the hell were you thinking!” He slammed his hands on the table.

“Luther-“ Diego warned, he was stopped by the boy who raised his hand, as if to tell the man that he could handle it.

“What the _hell_ was _I_ thinking? You think I _planned_ this? I’ll tell you what I was thinking, I was thinking that you were a stubborn asshole!” He spat out, “It was your fighting that made me leave in the first place, and it’s not like I planned on getting kidnapped- Jesus Luther- _you_ don’t control me!”

“I’m Number 1, _I’m_ the leader!” He snapped back, earning another groan from the boy.

“Yeah, well while you live in your little fantasy world, I’ll be dealing with the giant issue at hand. Oh, and by the way, Ben’s here and he’s alive if you, y’know... actually gave a shit?” He smiled smugly at the man.

Luther made a move towards the boy, grabbing his collar, his other siblings darted into action.

“Luther don’t-!” Allison exclaimed, grabbing onto his arm, Diego had raised a knife in anticipation, “Calm down!” She pleaded.

Luther stood down after a moment, pushing the boy backwards, it was almost enough to throw him from his chair.

“Ben’s back, let’s just- let’s just be _happy_.”

“Happy?” Diego scoffed, “The big guy here could have punched a hole through our young brother’s ribcage.”

“Not helping, Diego.” Vanya sighed.

“If we’re done squabbling,” Five groaned, “Can we all sit down and talk about this?”

Begrudgingly, Luther and Diego agreed, the rest of them gathered around the table. “Wonderful family you have here.” Crowley smirked at Five, who rolled his eyes in response, “Don’t i know it.”

“Go on then.” Luther spat, sitting opposite from the boy, “Talk.”

“Alright.” Five began, “the night i walked out, I was attacked at Wimpy’s by The Commission, specifically, an agent that goes by the codename Sherpa.”

“Again with the codenames.” Diego rolled his eyes.

“I stole her briefcase, ended up in the English countryside. These two,” the boy continued, ignoring the remark, “are Crowley and Aziraphale... I’m assuming their married.”

“Hi!” Aziraphale waved, “and uh- no! Not yet-“

“Yet?” Crowley crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow in the angel’s direction, a deep blush covered Aziraphale’s face.

“They saved my life, and they’re really... really weird, still trying to work that out. But they are trustworthy, the briefcase got stolen, they led me to a Villiage called Tadfield-“

“Where I woke up!” Ben chimed in, “When I found Five, they were preforming some sort of spell. This weird little boy said he brought me back..”

“Well that doesn’t make sense-“ Klaus muttered, tapping his chin. His siblings looked at him quizzically.

“I specifically remember god being a little girl..?”

“Wh-“ Aziraphale began before Five interjected, “Who cares what god is, we stole another briefcase and came back as soon as we could. Something big is going on.”

“Big... how?” Vanya asked slowly, failing to keep up with it all, she could tell her other siblings were on the same boat as her.

“Apocalypse big,” he sighed back, “It seems the Commission has found yet another way to destroy us all.”

“Why don’t we just leave earth,” Diego leaned back in his chair, “I hear the moon is nice this time of year.” He chuckled slyly, Luther scowled at him.

“Not the time, Diego.” Allison warned, “How do you know this, Five?”

“She sort of explained it. She was trying not to reveal too much information, It’s still speculation, but I have a rough idea of what they’re planning. She gave herself away, she slipped up...” he remarked, “Saw her ID, she’s a high-ranking, very secretive official in the United Kingdom’s Ministry of Defence, she has access to the Trident Nuclear Programme.”

“So what was-“ Ben began to ask, before Five continued.

“She wanted to use me as a middle-man, use my power to sneak past, what I would assume to be, some of the US strategic weapons facility systems, and disable them, allowing the commission full access to their nuclear codes, artillery, everything. Now, she has to go the longer way around.” He smirked.

“Why would she ask you?” Diego questioned, “I mean, you’ve made it clear what you think of them...?”

“Because she’s an idiot.” He smirked, “She probably thought I would appreciate the challenge, or that she’d kept it subtle enough where I wouldn’t suspect what her true plans were, she was much more sloppy than she realised.”

“So she stuck her neck out and-“

“I snapped it.” He beamed to his brother, “I suspect they want to create another cold war, raise tensions with Russia again. The ultimate goal, I believe, is to achieve M.A.D, Mutual Assured Destruction.”

“Doesn’t sound terrifying at all...” Crowley muttered from behind him.

“And we stop her how?” Diego inquired, his face falling with the hesitation Five took to respond.

“...I’m still working that one out...”

“Great!” Diego stood, clasping his hands together loudly, “Another apocalypse, no plan. I’m sure we can manage just fine.”

“Since when have we ever had a plan?” Five bit back, “Im pretty sure that, even if we had one, we’d never be able to stick to it _anyway_!”

“We can figure it out... last time, we managed.” Ben stood up, taking a step towards the middle of the table, “I watched you guys handle it with hardly any time to prepare, and even less to work off of... at least this time we _know_ who is responsible.”

“Ben’s right,” Luther chimed in, “They’ve been on your tail for years, Five, we can get the upper hand.”

“-assuming they don’t already have it that is.” The boy muttered, “Of course there’s the possibility that she hadn’t slipped up, that she had perhaps intended to mislead me with the ID... It seemed too desperate an attempt for the Commission’s standards...”

“Ah- yes, Hi, excuse me...” Aziraphale tapped his shoulder, the table gazed at him, prompting him to clear his throat.

“You say this ‘Commission’ plans on ending the world, yes? Why don’t we just- find her again? Try to start a friendly conversation? Perhaps she’ll tell us over some fine-“

“Angel, I don’t think-“

“Actually...” Five interrupted Crowley, lost in thought, “While I may not get any answers from Sherpa... I might be able to get some out of _her_.”

“Yes uh.... and who is _she_ if I might ask?” Aziraphale questioned.

“Luther, phone.” Five stated, holding out his hand, the muscular brother fumbled through his pockets frantically before handing him the small rectangle.

“Thanks.” He stated, teleporting away. His siblings got up with a huff to find him, spotting him in the livingroom. They took a seat on the couch as the boy dialled a number next to the large fireplace.

Aziraphale and Crowley joined them.

“You know... Five’s right..” the oddly-dressed man said to them, “There is something... odd about you two? You have a strange feeling.”

“Uh- thanks?” Crowley said perplexed, “Who are you, then?”

“Klaus,” he purred, leaning closer to the demon, “but you can call me se-“

“Klaus.” Diego warned, rolling his eyes. He turned to face the two men, “We try not to encourage that... Diego, by the way.”

He gestured to the other three I introduced siblings, “The big guy is Luther, ‘fancy one is Allison, small one is Vanya.”

“Lovely to meet you!” Aziraphale waved.

“I’m guessing Ben here and Five explained everything to you... about, us-“

“Yes yes, all covered. Super-children turned angsty dysfunctional family.” Crowley waved him off, earning a shove from the angel.

“I apologise- he seems to have lost his manners today.” The angel glared at the demon.

“Well- he isn’t half _wrong_...” Klaus began, Diego shot him a similar glance, “What? Just stating the obvious..”

“We’re much more functional than we’ve ever been.” Luther stated bluntly, earning a scoff from Diego.

“Of course you’d say that-“

“Guys.” Vanya interjected, “Listen, Crowley and- Aziraphale? Was it? I’m sorry we’ve not been as hospitable-“

“Oh no, don’t you worry a thing! “ Aziraphale reassured her.

“We know a thing or two about a... dysfunctional fanily,” Crowley aided, “Yours seems far more functional than ours.”

“Thats a first!” Klaus chuckled, “You hear that, darling siblings? We-“

Crowley sat up in alarm as the world around them brightened, the world around them coming to a halt.

“Was that you, Crowley? I could swear I-“

“N-no angel... not me.”

“Well, Isn’t this a surprise!” A blonde woman appeared beside them, they watched as Five re-entered the room, he seemed mildly taken-aback by the two men that remained in motion.

“Anthony J. Crowley, A. Zira Fell!” She exclaimed, “It’s been some time-“

“You know us?” Questioned the demon in shock, “I could swear i’ve never seen you before-“

“I know you,” she interrupted with a callous smile, “You don’t know me.”

She clapped, smiling widely and tapping her fingers together, “You can call me the Handler, and what a wonderful surprise this is! Three time meddlers, all together in one room!”

“Time meddlers-?” Aziraphale started, “What?”

“1870, Madrid, The National Library of Spain. Mr Fell, you prevented a fire that was supposed to eliminate our target, Juan Prim, Count of Reus. The ramifications of that meant that we had to send in our corrections unit, sloppy work. They never found our assassin, but it took two days after the fact for Juan to die.”

Aziraphale felt himself pale, what was going on? Who was this woman, an assassination?

“And you, Anthony Crowley. You killed an important man when you changed the targeted region of attack during the Blitz, you may not have realised it, but you got many of my corrections agents into quite the pickle.” She laughed. “And now here we are! Imagine my surprise when I find you two here with my largest adversary.” She shot a hard glare at the boy, that smile still plastering her face. Five offered no reaction.

“Of course, when you called me...” She stepped towards the boy, running her hand up Luther’s arm, before grasping onto the back of the couch, “I couldn’t resist, too curious for my own good. Now tell me... why am i here? To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Sherpa.” Five stated bluntly, “Why did you send her to me?”

“Oh Five-“ she laughed heartily, “You’re so _smart_...” she pinched his cheek, causing the boy to flinch, both the angel and the demon stood, feeling the rising tension, “So... cute... but you’re so- so naive.”

The boy raised his eyebrow, “What are you getting at?”

“Even if I were to tell you, you really can’t stop us!” She exclaimed, “I mean really, Five. We’ll only just come back again, you’ll never hear the end of us.”

“As long as i’m on this earth, I’ll fight for my family.” Five warned, “I may never get rid of you, but you’ll have a damn lot of trouble trying to get rid of me.”

“Oh... I know.” She smirked, stepping back from the boy, “Sherpa was lazy, she acted against orders... She went to you without my permission. She’s being handled, I’ll be assigning her a more _capable_ partner, someone who will keep her in line, and assure that the project runs more smoothly.”

“That project being another, more fatal cold war? That’s a risky task, even for you lot-“

“We’re rather pressed for options.” She hissed, “You’ve narrowed them down over the years... if I want the world to end in the next century then we have to make do.”

“But _why_?”

“Orders are orders.” She shrugged, “Are we done? I’m not quite in the mood to carry out your execution, and I’m late for my luncheon, i’ve had my assistant bring me some wonderful Vichyssoise, not to eat... but the smell is sublime! Perhaps, you would join me?” She stretched out her gloved hand.

“I-ah, already ate, thank you. Perhaps some other time.” He shot her a hard look.

“Always a disappointment...” she frowned deeply, “All that talent, _legendary_ really, thrown away. Pity.”

She checked her watch, “Well then, I’ll be off.” She regained her smile.

“I’ll hold you to that lunch!” She chirped, “Until then!”

And with a quick flash, she was gone, and time resumed once more.


	12. Ruffled Feathers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley have been hiding something.

Aziraphale blinked.

_What just happened?_

“What just happened?” Luther asked, echoing the angel’s thoughts. The siblings had seen the celestial men had changed positions in a flash, both angel and demon could say they felt the same confusion.

Crowley was about to respond when Five rounded on them.

“You- both of you-!” He began, approaching them, eyeing them over, “You were both there with me- when time stopped- she _knew_ you!”

“Who?” Luther butted in, earning a glance from Five.

“She knew you, both of you, she _mentioned_ the botched assassination of Juan Prim 1870... who _are_ you? You don’t seem like time agents but... If that’s so, how were’nt you affected by the time feeze?”

“Ah well- you see.. It all begins with a garden, well, _the_ garden at the beginning of creation-“ Aziraphale began, he cut himself off at the look on the boy’s face, “We’re uh... well we’re certainly very old...”

“What Aziraphale means to say,” Crowley cut in, “Is that we’re not from this world.”

“No shit.” Five stated bluntly, “ _Who_ are you?”

“Sorry,” Crowley smirked down at the boy, “It’s not my place to tell you.”

At Five’s deep frown, Aziraphale panicked, “But- but we can promise we mean no harm! We don’t work for anyone!”

The boy seemed to accept that, nodding, “No... I didn’t think you do, she seemed to dislike you...but why can’t you tell me?”

“Well, in all honesty we could probably tell you and your formerly-dead brother over there... but not the others.. might be a bit too much of a culture shock.” Crowley mumbled, tapping his chin, “Find us somewhere private, we’ll talk then.”

“My room then, lets go, _please_ enlighten me.” He began to walk towards the stair case.

“Woah hang on a second-“ Luther levelled, standing and reaching for the boy, “You can’t just run off again without explaining yourself! Not like four days ago, not like... not like when you got drunk on your _ass_ while the rest of us tried to-“ he cut himself off, swallowing hard, there was a long pause.

“Stop me from ending the world.” Vanya spoke up with a heavy sigh, “It’s alright, you can say it.”

“Vanya that’s not what I- this is about Five.”

“I can go where I damn well please.” Five growled at his brother, “Right now I need answers, I _need_ the full picture, and these two clearly know something I dont. If they wont disclose it in front of you guys, then that’s just fine!” He outstretched his arms before allowing them to drop back down to his side, “It’s really not my problem, what _is_ my problem is stopping yet another apocalypse, now if you’ll excuse me i have some answers to get, and don’t bother following me.”

He jumped away from the sitting area, landing before the large staircase, before storming his way up. Luther grunted before returning to his siblings.

Ben and the celestial duo got the hint, following the boy upstairs. Ben ran ahead to stand with Five.

“What’s going on Five?” Ben whispered to his smaller brother.

“A representative from the Commission paid me a visit,” he whispered back, “she stopped time, they weren’t affected by it. She knew who they were.”

Ben seemed taken aback, “But you don’t think they’re with them?”

“No.” Five spoke bluntly, “I see no indication, she definitely wasn’t fond of them. But they’ve been to the past... we just have to wait and see what they tell us.”

“Sounds good to me!” They heard a chirpy voice next to them, ben peered to his other side to find Klaus leaning in, listening closely to their conversation.

At the look his brother’s gave him, Klaus shrugged, “What?”

“I thought I _told_ you not to-“ Five growled, before he felt ben’s hand on his arm.

“Let him come with us,” Ben said, “Klaus has seen some unbelievable shit, more than the others, “ Ben shot a smile in Klaus’s direction, “I think we can trust him to keep a secret.”

“Thank you brother dearest, you know- if anyone in this family ever had my back? It’s yo-“

“Oh no no, it’s _definitely_ not me, I trust your decisions less than I trust your old dealer.” He chuckled, to Klaus’s annoyance, “I should know, I’ve been around you for as long as i’d been, well, me... but I did miss your dumbass.”

Klaus stuck his tongue out at Ben, “I missed you too, asshole.”

Five seemed to accept this, begrudgingly, and made no further protest at Klaus’s presence. He swung open the door to his room, motioning for the others to enter. The demon couldn’t stop staring at the walls.

They were covered in a long, and complex chalk equation, rubbed off in areas. A border featuring cartoon children chasing and playing with each other. It was the type of room you’d expect from a child younger than the boy that stood before him.

“Nice... room.” He stated.

“Oh yeah, Five’s still looks like a toddler’s worst nightmare.” Klaus laughed, “The old man never bothered changing it after the little tyke ran out!” He pinched Five’s cheek, and was met with a swift slap to the back of his hand. “Ouch!” He rubbed it with feign offence, “No need to get rough ‘bro’”

“You were going to tell us something, then?” Five returned his gaze to the angel and demon that stood before him, both looked at each other for a moment.

“Yes well-“

“Are you sure, angel?”

“Quite.” They whispered among themselves.

“We’re-“

“We’re aliens!” Crowley suddenly exclaimed.

“Crowley-!“

“From... Alpha Centuri... we’ve been monitoring earth for well-“ he pondered, “6000 years? Immortal species.”

“Uh-huh... immortal aliens...?” Five raised his eyebrow, crossing his arms.

“Well Isn’t that...” Klaus began, his mouth open, eyes blown wide, “Isnt that just... the biggest load of bullshit i’ve ever heard!” He clapped his hands together, “Can’t just be me right? I mean, come on, aliens?” Ben shook his head with a smirk.

“No, it’s not just you, Klaus.” Five scoffed, “You’re lying.” He levelled his gaze with Crowley.

“Now-“ the demon began, Five cut him off,

“You’ve _been_ lying, don’t think I haven’t noticed. It didn’t matter before when I thought you wouldn’t be sticking around, but it clearly does now that you’re both a part this. Now... What. Are. You.” He warned.

Crowley’s open mouth snapped shut as he stared at the boy in front of him, he could feel Aziraphale’s gaze shifting between them.

“My dear boy, you deserve the truth-“

“No Aziraphale. We don’t owe him anything,” he hissed, tugging the angel’s arm, “let’s _go_ ”

“No!” Aziraphale shook his arm, startling the demon, “We _have_ been lying! And we’ve been wrong to do so- they deserve to know.”

The demon stared at him for a moment, he felt the angel’s arms snaking up to his face.

“I’m... I’m not ready-“

“Me neither, my dear, but we must establish a degree of trust.” He could feel the angel grasp his glasses, “we know who they are, we know _what_ they are, we owe them the same.”

Aziraphale carefully removed the demon’s glasses, he could feel the eyes of the three others in the room bearing into them. Steadily widening.

The demon cautiously turned to face the trio.

Five stared with his lips tightly locked, Ben and Five exchanged a look, before the latter let out an awed sigh, “They _are_ aliens...” he breathed.

“No! I- we’re- well...” the demon stumbled, “My true name is Crawly, Serpent of Eden, The First Temptation, and my partner is-“

“Aziraphale, Principality Angel, Guardian of the Eastern Gate of Eden!” He beamed.

All three blinked.

“So... an angel, and... the devil?” Five stated bluntly, the disbelief coated his voice.

“Definitely not.” Crowley scoffed, “He’s far too large, and red, with those- horns... and he _smells_ atrocious.”

“A demon then?” 

“Yes essentially, fallen angel.”

“And I should believe you... why?”

The angel and the demon exchanged a look with each other, “Shall we?” Crowley motioned.

“We shall!” Aziraphale exclaimed happily. Both released their wings: a majestic white set of wings pointed downwards from Aziraphale’s back, a similar set of black wings pointed to the ceiling from Crowley’s.

Ben and Klaus found themselves stumbling backwards, gad they been paying attention, they would have caught a very rare glance of a very confused Five.

Aziraphale glanced to his side, he quickly retracted his wings. “Oh! I do apologise- I didn’t mean to-“ his wing had wiped part of the wall equation away.

“N-n-no it’s.... It’s okay...” Five stuttered, he moved to drop himself on his bed. The demon, similarly retracted his wings, acquiring his glasses back.

“Can I just say-“ Klaus began, a giant smile coming to his face, “You two are _far_ more interesting than god was!”

It was the duo’s turn to appear taken aback, Ben moved to shush his brother. “We should let them talk this out, Klaus. Seriously.”

“No need to say any more bro, I’ll behave,” he gave a thumbs up, “promise!”

———————————————

It took little over an hour to explain it all, as best as they could. Klaus and Ben had joined Five in dumbly staring at the duo from the bed.

“So... the earth is only around 6000 years old?” Ben asked, shooting a questioning look between Five, the the angel and the demon.

“It would make sense... I think? There were always limitations on how far back we could time travel at the Commission... nothing beyond the 300s...”

“We’re really sorry we didn’t tell you earlier... we’re really not supposed to-“

“Nor do we really ever want to.” Crowley stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“The Commission didnt seem to know what you were either... I mean- they’ve no files of heaven or hell, or paranormal beings. Perhaps she thought you were freelancing time travellers? Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Oh, good then!” Aziraphale straightened his jacket, “We’ve stayed hidden relatively well!”

“Not exactly, angel.” Crowley began, “She knew we’d been around, she knew we’ve altered history. The problem is that...” he turned to face the angel, “We’ve never noticed _her_.”

“Them.” Five corrected, “The commission is a very large, and very dangerous Orginisation. You didn’t _know_ because they didn’t want you to.”

“That’s right, you worked for them... How are they able to do it? The time-travel thing.”

“I know some of the basic science behind it, but I haven’t been able to completely work it all out yet. I know more about my own ability to time travel than theirs.”

Klaus scoffed, “Well no duhh, you spent, what, 40-something years alone doing research?”

“45.” Five replied sourly, “And yes, as painstaking as it was. But that’s the past, this is now, let’s just focus on how we can stop them, alright?”

A resounding knock rang out from Five’s door and Vanya entered.

“... sorry to interrupt.” She looked around them shyly, “Mom’s made dinner.. Diego asked her to make some extra.”

Crowley couldn’t stop the grin that came to his face as Aziraphale’s mood skyrocketed,

“Oh marvellous!”

———————————————

At somepoint in the walk to the dining room, Five allowed himself a chuckle.

“What has you so giggly?” Klaus smiled to his brother.

“I just realised how idiotic I must’ve sounded when I said I was older than you both.” He directed at the angel and demon, “I said _that_ to two beings who have been around since the creation of earth itself.”

“Oh wow! Five _admitting_ he’s been an idiot for once?” Klaus gasped, earning a playful elbow from the boy.

“In his defence,” Ben began, “he didn’t exactly know.”

Crowley smirked in amusement, “I hope it doesn’t damage that ego too much, you’re still the smartest man in the room by far. I just... know more about something you’re unfamiliar with.” He admitted, adding in the end with a hint of smug amusement.

“The smartest... child? My dear?” Aziraphale chimed in, holding in a snicker.

Suddenly Five found himself in the center of a fit of roaring laughter.

And all he could do was shake his head, with a sigh and a smirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited a few things, when inwrote this I had a migraine 😅


	13. Moscow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dark and dingy room/Family dinner

In a small secluded military bunker in the snowy outskirts of Moscow, far from any sembalence of warmth sat a high-ranking officer, who had risen to his power through no suspicious means at all. He sat at his desk, he rubbed over his shaved brown hair as he propped his head up with his hand.

He kept himself busy, mulling a very important code over in his very important brain, in an almost obsessive manner. It would be the code to aid in tearing down many of the world's powers, and bringing about the extinction of life itself.

Now all he needed to do was study the subject.

He was set to transfer his station to one of the many nuclear housing facilities, a complex system of tunnels, with many, many clearance checks and restricted areas that were well above his station. He had worked hard for this rank, but it just wasn't going to cut it. He would employ a more devious route into the heart of the facility.

His mulling of the codes turned to mulling over ideas for his trip of espionage, eyeing the blueprints of the facility that had been so gracefully passed over to him from the 1950s, each and every footstep would be a huge risk, but if he wanted _them_ to be happy...

His thoughts were interrupted at the sound of his office door opening, tucking the blueprints away and under some miscellaneous area maps, he turned to face whoever had interrupted his study.

"Да, что?" (Yes, what?) He inquired

"Сэр, здесь к вам гость." (Sir, you have a visitor.) Spoke one of his Sergeants.

"Кто?" (Who?)

"Представитель Кремля" (A representative of the Kremlin) he answered, "Я должен его впустить?" (Should I show him in?)

"Просто сделай это" (Just do it.) he waved a dismissive wave.

"да сэр" (Yes, Sir) The sergeant stood to attention before seeing himself out, after a few moments, a man dressed in a fine suit joined him in the room, older in appearance, his briefcase hanging from his left arm as he fixed his tie. He was a tall, dark man with combed and greying hair. His face adorned with half-formed wrinkles, a smirk gracing his features as he eyed the man in front of him.

"As cheerful as ever I see, Cayman." 

"Much happier with you around, Taurus." He smiled towards him fondly, "It gets rather dull sitting, staring at cement all day."

"You'll be glad to hear that i've come with a message from _herself_ then." He waltzed over to a spare chair and sat in it, the internet in Cayman peaked.

"What does _She_ want?"

"There's been a..." he paused for a moment, knowing the man in front of him would react negatively to the news, "... slight misstep in the UK operation."

"And by misstep you mean...?" He prodded for more information.

"Sherpa was careless, and attracted the attention of one of our former top agents, Five. She was intercepted. _She_ is making Sherpa my responsibility now, you must take up the work I was tasked with carrying out."

Cayman huffed, shaking his head, "Sherpa always did think she was the sharpest of the bunch." He leaned back in his chair, "She has a good head on her shoulders, but is far too forthcoming in approach."

"That she is, I'm looking forward to working with her. Anyone with the guts to approach Five would make for an interesting partner." Taurus stood and brushed himself down.

"I have opened my position to you in the Kremlin, your name has been put forward by our allies as a suitable replacement for me. I am to travel to the UK to seek asylum as a traitor and a whistleblower of military secrets. Gain the trust of the others, and use your status to an advantage. We'll accomplish what we need to in time."

Cayman had stood, slowly approaching Taurus as he spoke, a pang of sadness flared in his chest.

"I shall... miss our monthly meetings, Taurus." He stood upright, "I've enjoyed working with you, partner."

"I shall be very sorry to leave, you've grown very... dear to me Cayman." He placed his hand on the other man's upper arm, a long silence formed between them.

They allowed it to linger for a while, until it was abruptly broken by Taurus clearing his throat, a quick twitch of his wrist and a check of his watch. "I have to go. Perhaps soon we-"

"We'll cross paths again." Cayman replied quickly, cutting the man off, "I'd love for us to go out for dinner someday, like we used to."

"Agreed. Until then, Cayman." He smiled and nodded his head, and with that, Cayman was once again alone in the dark, gray room surrounded in thick walls of concrete.

Almost as heavy as the burdon passed onto him.

Almost as cold as he felt inside.

\-----------------------------------

The angel sat, one hand on his stomach, and the other dabbing off the excess food from his mouth with his napkin. A satisfied smile was plastered on his face.

"A wonderful dinner, Mrs...?"

"Grace." Diego answered from accross the table, Aziraphale had finished before the others, some only halfway through their meals.

"Mrs Grace." He repeated, "I would usually take my time with this sort of thing, but it was simply too delightful!"

"You must really love your food." Allison mused, bringing another slice of the porkchop to her mouth.

"You wouldn't believe how many times he's heard that.." Crowley shook his head, "This month alone i've heard it uttered at _least_ ten times!"

"Can't argue with a man who knows some good food," Diego piped up once more, "Mom is the best cook there's ever been." He smiled towards the android fondly.

"I agree my dear boy, one of the best of my time!"

It was taking some time for Ben to adjust to having a stomach again, small mouthfuls of heaven, one at a time. He'd missed Grace's cooking.

He felt Klaus nudge his arm, "Look at you bro! Eating with the old team again, I can't remember the last time we all sat at the table together like this."

"I can." Luther stated bluntly, "It was when Five abandoned us for the first of _many times._ "

An akward silence ensued, Luther stared at the child, while the child nonchalantly ignored the invitation to argue back, electing to focus on his food as he ate. The rest staring dumbly between them.

Klaus raises hks eyebrows akwardly, aknowledging the sudden spin of tbe conversation, it was a moment before he preked up again.

"Oh yes! I remember now, something about Ice and Acorns. Man, dad _really_ had a thibg for dumbass analogies." He chuckled loudly, quieting after the others failed to react.

"Well don't all raise the roof at once..." he muttered under his breath.

A flash of blue, and Five had placed his plate by the sink, which summoned Grace over to clean it, another flash and he was gone from the room.

"I'm going to have a word with him." Grumbled Luther, who wandered over to Grace, handing his half-eaten food over.

"Did you not like it?" She asked him, only to be ignored as he turned and followed the boy out.

"He loved it, mom." Diego reassured her, causing her to smile brightly once more, before he turned his gaze towards the door, glaring, "Big guy just can't see the good in anything."

"Can't expect much more from Mr Serious." Vanya chimed in, attempting to lift some of the heavy air from the room, which Klaus latched onto.

"We're FaMiLy!" He mimicked, pointing his finger and shaking it towards Vanya, "Don't you disrespect dad!"

He earned a few giggles from the remaining siblings who continued to eat, until the sounds of clattering could be heard from upstairs, Diego lept from his seat and left ti go find the ruckus.

A heavy sigh left Allison, "I knew it was too good to be true, here I was thinking they would talk it out."

"What are the chances." Ben scoffed, "First family dinner in years and it's gone right back to aweful."

"I think you're just bad luck, Ben." Klaus giggled.

And at that moment, Ben issued the first punch in the face that he had in years too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I’m seriously flattered that people will read this inane drivel ☺️


End file.
